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Family History Documents and Artefacts => Graveyards and Gravestones => Topic started by: Tierneylass on Friday 12 March 10 22:49 GMT (UK)
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Hi
This is something that is very personal to me and probably has no answer but here goes...
Would there be any way I could find out what became of a family members ashes that were never collected from 1978!!
Southern Cemetery Crematorium - Manchester?
I can hardly just ring up and ask about them I presume? Would they have just been thrown away? (sniff sniff) Is there a standard procedure for that sort of thing? I really need to know once and for all what would have happened to them as its a very close family member.
Any advice apreciated
Tierneylass
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I can hardly just ring up and ask about them
Why not?, give them a call, you might be pleasantly surprised. I don't know the protocol in these cases but I would assume that the ashes were probably scattered in an area of the crematorium grounds. Most have a memorial garden or something similar.
Give them a ring :) and good luck
Suey
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What's wrong with phoning the crematorium and asking?
You can bet it won't be the first time they've had this kind of request.
As far as I understand it, ashes are still classed as human remains. Therefore I would think there's probably a law against simply throwing them away. And if the've been scattered, there's likely to be a record of where and when.
One thing's for sure : If you don't ask, you won't find out :-\
David.
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Hello Tierneyclass, this happened to my mother`s ashes. Dad had asked for a niche so her ashes were kept at the crematorium as there was a long waiting list . In the meantime dad developed cancer and was of course very ill. We recieved notification much later that Mum`s ashes had been scattered on the Garden of Remembrance as they had not been claimed . Whether Dad ever got any communication saying the niche was available or the ashes were to be claimed we`ll never know because Dad died suddenly before things were sorted out . So we`ll never know and no-one was there to say a prayer or take flowers . We visited of course and the garden is a lovely plot with rose bushes and we had her name entered in the book on her birthday but that is all we have, and memories of course. But there will be records I`m sure. It`s worth enquiring. On Sunday as I have no Mum ( she died in 1957) she will be remembered by name in Chuch as I send aid -via The Mothers` Union- to a grandmas in Africa bringing up their grandchildren orphaned through A.I.D.S. My donation will provide seeds and tools and a hen and chicks etc so people there can start to become self sufficient. I think it is a good way to remember someone who otherwise only has a little anonymous area of grass as her final resting place, beside the one in my heart. Viktoria.,
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Hi
thanks for that information....what a lovely idea to honour someone in a practical way.
It is my dad's ashes that were never collected...I hope they were at least placed in the garden of rememberance as his father and mother are also buried in the cemetary so at least thats something!
I will try to pluck up the courage to ring...I thought they would think it terrible to be asking after 32 years!
thanks again folks
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I believe the Cremation Regulations 1930 (replaced in 2008) were the relevant Regulations in force in 1978. They provide for the following:
16. After the cremation of the remains of a deceased person the ashes shall be given into the charge of the person who applied for the cremation if he so desires. If not, they shall be retained by the Cremation Authority and, in the absence of any special arrangement for their burial or preservation, they shall either be decently interred in a burial ground or in land adjoining the crematorium reserved for the burial of ashes, or shall be scattered thereon. In the case of ashes left temporarily in the charge of the cremation authority and not removed within a reasonable time, a fortnight's notice shall be given to the person who applied for the cremation before the remains are interred or scattered.
Nigel
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Hi
thank you for that information...i always have had nightmares of them been thrown into the bin!!!
On the other hand does that mean that someone was notifyed to collect them and didn't let anyone know of their decision not to collect them...as opposed to just forgetting..!!
Still I will give them a ring at the Crem and see if they can tell me anything.
Many thanks
Tl
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Hi :)
The crematorium does keep a record. This is a cropped reply I gave on another thread.
The record states name, date of death but not date of birth, the address of the deceased, the applicants name and address, when the cremation took place and what happened to the ashes
Evie
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On the other hand does that mean that someone was notifyed to collect them and didn't let anyone know of their decision not to collect them...as opposed to just forgetting..!!
Still I will give them a ring at the Crem and see if they can tell me anything.
In the absence of instructions I believe many crematoria in England currently retain ashes for 3 months after the cremation. In accordance with the Crematorium Regulations they must then give a fortnight's notice to the person who requested the cremation of their intention to have the ashes scattered or interred in the absence of alternative instructions. In the absence of a reply they will then normally scatter the ashes in the garden of remembrance and record the date of the event in their records.
Accordingly, the person who requested the cremation should have received notification in accordance with the Cremation Regulations. Would they have been happy to have had them, say, scattered in the garden of remembrance rather than collect them and, therefore, chosen not to reply?
Nigel
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Hi,
This happened to my Nana & Grandads ashes at Blackley Crem.
The undertaker said he would 'sort everything' for dad, and dad presumed this also meant picking up the ashes and getting them to him, but they never did, and when he did ask them it was too late.
When grandad died dad had to go on a business trip right after the funeral for several weeks, the funeral director didnt pick up the ashes, and again when dad asked it was too late (needless to say we havent used that funeral director again!)
Years later I was in the crematorium office & asked what happened it ashes werent claimed and the lady in the office went & got out the records for me, and they had a record of exactly where the ashes had been scattered in the garden of rememberance, strangly enough by sheer co-incidence as they died 20 years apart, and their ashes were scattered in the same area.
Ring Southern & ask, the lady in the office is lovely, she has always helped me out whenever i have called them.
Gaille
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Hi Folks
So many thanks for giving me the courage to ring at long last...
rang the Crem today and very nice man gave me all the information straight away!!
Even told me mums name from records as person who arranged funeral etc...he gave me the exact location of where the ashes were scattered and wich section and no his ashes were!! He explained what could be done re book of rememberence etc and Rose bush etc.
Finally some peace in my heart.
Thank you so much
Tlass
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Well done, Tlass.
David
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Tlass ,you have encouraged me to ask about my Mum, I had no idea the exact spot would be known.I just thought "scattered " meant just that. Thankyou.
My Dad`s ashes are scattered at Hill 60 in Belgium, a prominent place in the battle for Ypres in WW1 and where he lost many friends.--- There was a sad/ hilarious moment when customs decided to do a drugs check at Dover and we were thinking what to say by way of explanation for a yellow plastic container with a greyish white powder inside------- fortunately they did a very cursory search so did not find it anyway and the container had in relief on the rim " Manchester Crematorium" so it would probably have been O.K but we were doing the scattering informally with a local Cof E minister present but we really ought to have checked with the Commomwealth War Graves Commission as Hill 60 is a designated undisturbed battlefield burial ground . But getting as many of the family together in a foreign country was difficult enough.
. He takes up no room.We pop over from time to time and say "hello".Thanks again .Viktoria.
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Some years ago I had my mother cremated & arranged for her ashes to be scattered in the Garden of Remembrance.
Fast forward 1 year later, phone rings "hello its **** undertakers, just calling to let you know we still have Mums ashes, what do you want to do with them?" it turns out that when me & the lady at the undertakers were filling out the forms the box for scattering was not ticked, lots of chatting & in depth discussions around the unusual arrangements I requested. We had a good chat & a laugh "she's not giving us any trouble". Her ashes were duly scattered by the undertakers in the garden of remembrance.
I think that if no-one can be contacted that after 1 year or so the ashes are scattered in the local cemetary.
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Its lovely to know that the Crematorium still record everything down to the final detail. Its reasuring that we can still have some sort of memorial service or commemoration even at this late stage.
Mind you all my dad would have wanted was a Ceremonial Pie and a Pint in his memory ;D And a winning bet on the 3 oclock!
Never to late to do that anyway
Thanks for all the help once again
:)
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My parents both died very recently so I have had a bit of experience dealing with funerals and ashes etc. I was rather surprised to be told by the funeral company that they had some ashes in their storage area which had been there for 40 years. It seems that they are willing to keep them until the wife/husband has also passed away and so enabling a joint ashes ceremony, scattering and/or burial whenever that will be. They will also keep a set of ashes until the family can come to some sort of agreement over what to do with them. If one wishes to go and scatter the ashes all you have to do is fetch the "ash boxes" (now in environmentally friendly cardboard and greaseproof paper as most councils are now refusing burials of urns or other slow decomposing materials). I did ask how big the storage area was and I was told not that big but the boxes are fairly small and didn't take up a lot of room!
Previously I had thought that ashes were kept for only a few weeks at the crematorium but apparently the funeral company fetch the ashes when they are ready and contact is made with the family concerned to see if a decision has been reached as to what is to be done with them. Now whether this is unique to this particular firm or not, I have no idea.
Just make doubly sure that someone in the immediate family knows where they are!
Another thing that might be of interest is that the plot of land in the cemetery were my mum and dad's ashes were laid to rest, was half a normal burial plot which is slightly larger than the average ashes plot but it means that 2 more ash boxes can be added later - not all councils allow this because it depends on the plot size. So me and the hubby are now catered for lol! Although there is no more family left to see that our wishes are adhered to! So can I count on a few witnesses here? ;D