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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: Kevinshouse on Sunday 27 September 09 21:09 BST (UK)
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I love looking at the old wedding photographs that are posted on rootschat I don't think that anyone will realize (unless they have been involved it arranging their son or daughters wedding) what preparations have gone into this (everyone there in their lovely clothes, the flowers, the brides mother in her outfit etc. etc. My daughter is to married in December, and I cannot believe the preparations involved from the bride being told her dress should have been ordered last year to ensure delivery, to finding a burgundy bridesmaid dress for an adult bridesmaid! do you know how many shades of burgundy there are. The price of the photographer (my husband almost fainted at this). Like I said though when you see these beautiful photographs people think that it came together by magic.
I am sure that even marriages many years ago involved a lot of preparation.
Kind regards Susan
Kind regards Susan
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I think that the wedding "industry" has grown hugely commercial in recent years. Many years ago people tended to make their own clothes and this would often have been the case for wedding outfits. The cake would have been home-made, the flowers home-grown, the reception home-catered or catered for by a friend. Studio photographs seemed to come in some time ago, for those who could afford them. Yes - masses of preparation, but perhaps not the same level of expense?
MarieC
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Yes, preparation for a wedding is a big expense ...... when our daughter got married, we along with the bridal couple and grooms parents all put money in ..... so we didn't really notice the final cost. The only thing I wish I had done, was put disposable cameras on every table, so at the end of the day they were collected and developed ..... sometimes doing it this way, you get the best shots, taken unawares, no posing etc.
Cheers
KHP
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My younger daughter is getting married in 3 weeks.
She and her fiance have organised everything themselves.
I am making the cake. All parents have put in some money.
What amazes me is the rehearsals!
Hairdo, with extensions, makeup, fake tan, nails, etc. etc.
Then there are the trying on dates for the bridesmaids, and the flower girls, not to mention the bride!
There has been a visit to the venue with the florist and the photographer.
There will be 3 hen nights, one with sisters and close friends, one for the 'mothers', and one for lots of friends.
Phew!
Kooky
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I do agree with everyones comments its the preparations that are unbelievable, not so much the cost. The cost can be as much or as little as you want it to be. My daughter is not having a wedding present list, they have a beautiful home already, and she thinks it seems unfair to ask guests for gifts. I know that it can be very expensive just being a guest at a wedding so I think she has been very thoughtful about this.
Kind regards Susan
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It's me again!
My daughter and her fiance have no present list. They have been together for some time and do not need anything. They have said that presents are not necessary, but if anyone wants to give them something, they could send some money to the travel firm where they have booked their honeymoon/holiday of a lifetime.
Oh, and there are going to be disposable cameras!
Kooky
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My daughter got married this summer. The whole thing was arranged in three months, including having the dress made and sent from Spain! It was the only expensive thing and even then, compared with what some people spend, it was nothing!! :o
Invitiations were hand made so were really representative of the two of them.
They managed to find and hire a lovely hall for the reception and the caterers were superb. The flowers were sent from Herefordshire and were all grown within a five mile radius of the company, including some picked from local hedgerows. They were stunning!
No present list, but for people who couldn't cope with that, a request for either National Garden Centre vouchers, so that they can spend a load of money on their very tiny but messy garden, or John Lewis vouchers for people who thought the garden thing just too odd for words.
The cake was made from six tiers of cheese, starting with a huge Caerphilly and working up to tiny a French cheese, whose name I can't remember. It was decorated with fresh fruit, herbs and some of the aforementioned flowers. It provided a talking point for weeks.
Family and friends decorated the hall, made the canapes ( well, that was me actually! ;D) and provided the live music to accompany the champagne reception part of the day.
The wedding car was a vintage Austin 7, driven by a friend and came free. Mercifully the wedding dress wasn't of the huge meringue variety, or she wouldn't have got in.
We even managed to book the sunshine, which considering the summer we have had was little short of a miracle.
All in all, it was wonderful and probably cost about a third of the current average wedding budget. I am still toting the photographs around with me to brag about my lovely daughter, to anyone who will be prepared to look!! :D :D
Jen
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Many thanks for all your replies, love the story about the wedding cake! what a talking point. Our daughters wedding cake is to be made by a lady who worships at the same church, she is a member of the WI and has won many competitions. I believe the top tier is chocolate cake, the middle one jam sponge and the bottom one the traditional fruit cake. I think that the old tradition of saving the top tier of the wedding cake for the first child's christening cake seems not to happen nowadays.
Kind regards Susan
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I love looking at the old wedding photographs that are posted on rootschat I don't think that anyone will realize (unless they have been involved it arranging their son or daughters wedding) what preparations have gone into this (everyone there in their lovely clothes, the flowers, the brides mother in her outfit etc. etc. My daughter is to married in December, and I cannot believe the preparations involved from the bride being told her dress should have been ordered last year to ensure delivery, to finding a burgundy bridesmaid dress for an adult bridesmaid! do you know how many shades of burgundy there are. The price of the photographer (my husband almost fainted at this). Like I said though when you see these beautiful photographs people think that it came together by magic.
I am sure that even marriages many years ago involved a lot of preparation.
Kind regards Susan
I am on the 'other side' of the arranging - I am a wedding Co-ordinator :)
I agree people dont realise how much time & effort is put into organising a wedding, some seem to think it just 'happens' by itself, they dont realise the bride (and some grooms!) have sometimes spent years planning it down to the last little detail.
I am told I am a rarity in the business lol, I started my business because I hated seeing people get ripped off, I keep my prices low, and I cant believe the prices that some charge, I use all local small businesses I know & trust, that have the same ethics as myself - personal service, and reasonable prices.
A Wedding doesnt have to cost a fortune to be a good wedding - a LOT of brides forget that tho, and seem to think 'throwing money at it' will make it the best wedding it can be, sometimes its the small inexpensive ones that mean the most - I did one once on a £150 budget for all the decor and the bride & bridesmaids Tiaras and Flowers -and it looked Fantastic!
I have to say I love my job - I get to go & transform a venue into a bride & grooms dream, and it is a wonderful feeling to see it all come to life - I NEVER get bored of it.
In a way I started this by accident - My brother got married and being a crafty person I offered to make the wedding favours for them............ never having made one before in my life!
As we started planning the wedding the cost of a lot of items were ridiculous, and I ended up doing the Favours, the table decorations, all the place cards, the table plan, all the balloons, designing a very unique balloon arch (it was a LOW ceiling lol) ............... Mum baked the cake, and my sister-in-law, Brother & myself decorated it.
At the wedding people kept commenting on the decor, and little brother (bless him!) kept telling people we had done it all ourselves ..................and when we left the next morning I had requests to do three more weddings for guests .............and as the saying goes "it all went from there"
10 years later I have a business I love and my brother & sister-in-laws marriage is still going strong - we joke that our business was born on their wedding day!
Gaille
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My sister was telling me the other evening that when her husbands niece married a couple of years ago, they had a wedding co-ordinator who eventually fell out with the brides mother (who my sister tells me was driving everyone mad) the bride then had to be the go between with her mother and the wedding co-ordinator.
The wedding did eventually take place, the couple had twin daughters a year later and a boy 10 months after the twins - the bride has now got her hands very full.
Kind regards Susan
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My older daughter planned her own wedding too. Again I made the cake. I do not understand these pushy mothers who organise things to suit them .[Not that I've had the chance ;)]
If the parents are paying for everything, then of course they should have a say.
My older daughter and her now husband paid for most of their wedding, with a contribution from me, my mother, and her father [we are divorced, but still friends] Her inlaws provided all the wine etc., after a couple of trips to France!
My younger daughter decided to do the same. I must have produced 2 very independent children!
She does ask for some help, but wants everything done to her high standards.
There is no way either of them would have contemplated a wedding planner. Gaille sounds very nice though.
Kooky
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There was one day, about three weeks before the day, when my daughter sort of wailed at me, down the phone, "I wish I'd had a planner!"
But in truth, they had very clear ideas and wanted to do it themselves. I helped with ideas and hopefully with a bit of calming when needed. I paid for the dress, my ex- husband paid for the caterers and my partner, who has been a part of daughter's life for over twenty years, paid for the ceilidh band. Everything else, they did themselves - the choice of wines being of paramount importance and therefore involving huge amounts of research. ;D ;)
There was no official photographer, just a request that everyone who had a digital camera should put photos on to a disc and send it to them. They have hundreds to choose from, to create their own album.
I don't know what the total cost was but it will have been nowhere near the current average.
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I eloped all the way to Australia to get married and then we phoned the parents afterwards. no stress no hassle suited me fine as I don't like being the center of attention. It cost £50 to get married. As the holiday had already been arrange we just decided to get married and make it our honeymoon. The only person who knew in this country was the solicitor who had to witness my husbands divorce papers. The marriage celebrant made us a cake as a suprise and laid on a buffet for us. Then we went out for a Chinese afterwards. Each to their own.
I love big weddings don't get me wrong, just been to one in August. I just could never see me in that situation. I have never regretted how we got married and the most important people were there me and hubby!! ;D
Regards panda
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In the last two years I have been to two weddings.
The first was Hoity Toity with snobbery thrown in ..... because one of the bridal party was vegetarian, all the food was catered along that lines, so no consideration to guests. There was a wedding gift list, but they had chosen the expensive items ::) Even though it was family, it was one event we did not enjoy. :(
The second wedding was small and was fantastic. When the brides mother saw what had been chosen for the meal ...... said "No vegetables are down here ..... you have to have some" to which the bride replied "No, I don't eat vegetables, its my wedding, I am paying for it, and tough to vegetables". :D 8)
It was a beautiful spread, of salads, chicken and hams with spuds. The deserts, were meringues and chocolate cake.
They asked for no presents, but asked for gift vouches from a certain store (not an expensive one) for items to go towards furnishing their house. They got a few presents, but the childs school suitcase they had on the table was overflowing with their requested vouchers.
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I eloped all the way to Australia to get married and then we phoned the parents afterwards. no stress no hassle suited me fine as I don't like being the center of attention. It cost £50 to get married. As the holiday had already been arrange we just decided to get married and make it our honeymoon. The only person who knew in this country was the solicitor who had to witness my husbands divorce papers. The marriage celebrant made us a cake as a suprise and laid on a buffet for us. Then we went out for a Chinese afterwards. Each to their own.
I love big weddings don't get me wrong, just been to one in August. I just could never see me in that situation. I have never regretted how we got married and the most important people were there me and hubby!! ;D
Regards panda
That sounds wonderful. When the aforementioned daughter was on holiday in France, last year, I prayed they would come back married! ;D
The whole big wedding thing is a bit of a mystery to me and although it was a wonderful day, I still would never have chosen it for myself. As my not terribly confident offspring said to me at one point, "If I don't have a posh/traditional wedding dress, people will look at me!" What did she think they were going to do - she was the bride!! ::)/
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I do like the idea of the cameras (digital or disposable). There would be every kind of photo - not just the posed ones and everyone would love the spontaneous ones!
Bev
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That sounds wonderful. When the aforementioned daughter was on holiday in France, last year, I prayed they would come back married! ;D
The whole big wedding thing is a bit of a mystery to me and although it was a wonderful day, I still would never have chosen it for myself. As my not terribly confident offspring said to me at one point, "If I don't have a posh/traditional wedding dress, people will look at me!" What did she think they were going to do - she was the bride!! ::)/
LOL my family think its hilarious - I plan weddings but I have aways said if I were to get married, I will NOT be having a big wedding, it will be me, my partner and immediate family only!
LOL and that would be a SMALL wedding, I only hae my parents, brother & sister + theirs 'other halves' and (at the moment), 2 neices & a nephew ........ my boyfriend only has his 2 brothers and their respective other halves - and thats it.
I couldnt bear having a huge fancy wedding with the big dress & top-table etc - I hate fuss and I go red if everyone is looking at me, I hate giving talks or speeches!!
My perfect weddings are the nice simple ones, not too over the top and NO pink!
I did a wedding season a few years ago where every wedding was either pink& white or Gold & Ivory themed - I grew to detest pink lol.
Gaille
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My older daughter planned her own wedding too. Again I made the cake. I do not understand these pushy mothers who organise things to suit them .[Not that I've had the chance ;)]
If the parents are paying for everything, then of course they should have a say.
My older daughter and her now husband paid for most of their wedding, with a contribution from me, my mother, and her father [we are divorced, but still friends] Her inlaws provided all the wine etc., after a couple of trips to France!
My younger daughter decided to do the same. I must have produced 2 very independent children!
She does ask for some help, but wants everything done to her high standards.
There is no way either of them would have contemplated a wedding planner. Gaille sounds very nice though.
Kooky
LOL when I book the first appointment with a prospective bride & groom I always suggest that the first meeting should just be with them, and then after that bring parents, siblings, a friend or whoever they like afterwards ........... that way I get an idea of what they want before everyone wades in with ideas, lol and they can pre-warn me if theres a pushy parent or whatever to watch out for.
I once went to see a bride for the first time at her house, I walked in & there were 5 men & boys sat at the kitchen table talking ............. when we were shown into the main room of the house there were at least 20 women & children sat there - and everyone of them had an opinion on what 'had' to be done ......it was total choas with everone talking at once ....... It took me about 5 minutes to actualy figure out who was the bride!
Mum (whos my busines partner) and I have our own system for notes - one writes down what the bride & groom want, the other what anyone else suggests so we keep them straight!
Kooky - what I do is more of a co-ordinator than a planner, I put people in touch with other businesses if its not something I do myself, or I can do the organising for them, I so as little or as much as they want doing.
Gaille
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On Sunday we went to hear the first banns read for our daughters marriage in December, my elderly father in law( hes 82) attended with us. We sat in the beautiful little church, the sun was shining and it was the Harvest Festival. My father in law told us a story about when he married, the church warden asked his mother, who was sat waiting for the wedding ceremony to start, if she would like the candles lit, his mother misheard the church warden and thought he said would you like to cancel it. Sarah my father in laws mother said she did not want to cancel it and didn't know why they would ask such a thing, and that is why the candles in the church that day were not lit for the wedding!
Kind regards Susan
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It's all over! We had a fantastic day on Thursday. There were just 30 adults and 3 children.
The venue was amazing, my daughter looked really happy and so beautiful and her 4 bridesmaids too.
The food was super and the service was wonderful.
On Friday we had a hog roast and disco/karaoke at the rugby club - 130 people.
Two completely different nights, but both very enjoyable.
And all organised by my daughter!
Kooky
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I am getting married in August. At the moment it feels like a giant to do list.
The dress is on order. Cars and cake booked. I am seeing a reasonable priced photographer on Friday. I am making the invitations and orders of service myself to save costs. We are not having speeches as I can't bear the thought of having to listen plus OH would hate making one. Reception and church are booked. I'm going to tackle honeymoon and groom's suit this week as well. My head is spinning with it all. Hairdresser is booked as well. The guest list is giving me a headache though as to who to invite from work. I can't fit more than 80 in the church and that's big enough anyway but ??? :o >:( ;D There isn't an harrassed smiley to show how I'm feeling!
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Our daughter got married just over two weeks ago. I t was such a wonderful day there are not enough superlatives to describe the day .......... and all at what I thought was a very reasonable price.
Anyway, here is a snap of the reception room before everyone sat down for the meal and one of the wedding cake made by my good lady. This includes the sugar paste flowers.
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Wow, that looks absolutely perfect, what a wonderful day you must have had, I am so looking forward to our daughters wedding on advent Sunday (many people have said to me that they prefer summer weddings), but I think that a Christmas wedding is wonderful, it wouldn't do for us all to be the same, would it?
By the way when I was looking through some old family marriage certificates my husbands g grandparents married on the same date in 1898.
Kind regards Susan
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If I knew how to do it I would post a photo or two! :-[
Kooky
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I cant help you with advice on posting photographs - but I am sure that some clever person somewhere could help you :) :) I would love to see your photographs and I am sure that lots of other Roots Chatters would too.
Kind Regards Susan
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Thank you! I will have to wait until the happy couple return from Thailand!
Kooky
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I cant help you with advice on posting photographs - but I am sure that some clever person somewhere could help you :) :) I would love to see your photographs and I am sure that lots of other Roots Chatters would too.
Kind Regards Susan
Of course they would ..... and someone could always post it on your behalf as well. :D
Cheers
KHP
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Thank you! My new son in law did explain to me how to find the photos from my camera and attach them to an e-mail, but I have lost the bit of paper with the step by step instructions on it. :-\
I need someone here to explain.I have tried and failed many times to post photos and I just get very upset when I cant do it. Previously Aspin has done it for me, but I don't want to bother her at the moment.
Kooky
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I am getting lots of ideas for my daughters wedding from this thread. She had a lovely experience yesterday she found the perfect lipstick (my daughters does not normally wear lipstick) with some help from a lovely lady in Fenwicks, but unfortunately the colour chosen was discontinued and should not have been left out on display. My daughter was somewhat disappointed about this, but decided to look at other colours, the assistant disappeared on her return she told my daughter that she had a word with her supervisor and my daughter was very welcome to have the sample, free of charge, wasn't this a lovely gesture, the shop assistant told my daughter to have a wonderful wedding day, this kind gesture made my daughters day.
Kind regards Susan
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I think today that there is too much money is spent on a wedding.
When we got married I got my dress off the peg also the bridesmaids dresses were off the peg. When my son got married 2 years ago his wife and bridesmaids had about 6 fittings !!!
I have been to several weddings that have cost a fortune..sadly some of the couples have split up I have also been to a few that have not cost much at all, they are still together, so really a wedding is about 2 people not about how much to spend on one.
What annoys me is that when you book a room for the recepton. you naturally pay a lot for the meal, but they also charge you for the hire of the room !!!!
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We went to the second reading of the banns of marriage yesterday - our daughter is to marry in December, it was delightful, we then all went out for a lovely Sunday lunch.
My daughters, the elder is the bride, the younger the bridesmaid got together (they live in different parts of the country - so this is not always easy) everything seems to be coming together now .The weather yesterday was terrible and as we sat in the little church I kept thinking I hope the weather will be kinder to us on the big day. My husband says there is nothing we can do about the weather, he is of course correct, and we shall just have to make the most of it.
I think that we are going to provide the ushers with large brollies and plastic ponchos just in case. Anyone any other idea?
Kind regards Susan
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I had a "perfect" 2nd wedding. I phoned friends and invited myself to coffee. Then when we arrived I told them we wanted to use her garden! The only other people present were the 2 witnesses the pastor and his wife. It was awesome. I could be "me"!
but we did have an "open house" as a reception later!