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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: Nick29 on Sunday 26 July 09 17:15 BST (UK)
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I'm feeling a little smug today...... this afternoon I decided to construct the family tree of a good friend from 40 years ago, who passed away in January 2008. When we last saw each other we were both in our late teens, and I'd spent 35 years looking for him and then in late 2007 I found his sister through Friends Reunited. When you are a teenager, you tend to talk about other stuff than family, so although I'd met his brothers and sisters, and stayed with the family, I realised that I really didn't know much about my friend from all those years ago. We exchanged 3 emails before he died - he dropped dead of a heart attack only months before a planned reunion.
This afternoon I decided to draw up his family tree, so I would at least know a little about his roots. From his emails, I knew his wife's first name, when they got married, and the names of his two sons, and the fact that his eldest son was 30 in 2007. From memory, I knew his sisters' names and the married name of one sister, and that was about it. I really didn't have a clue where he was born, because his father was army top-brass, and the family moved around a lot.
In three hours I had found my friend's DOB and place of birth, and his mother's maiden name. I then found his parent's marriage in the same town that he was born. I also found the marriages of his sisters. I also found his marriage, his wife's maiden name, and the birth registrations of his sons. I then went back on both sides of his tree, going back to 1770 on the main branches.
Not bad for 3 hours work ? :) I'll never get to see my friend again, but now I feel I know him a little bit better, and have answered questions that maybe I would have asked him, if he'd lived to make our reunion. I'm a little stunned that I could build a family tree with so little to start with. Almost like Heir Hunters ! :)
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Well done Nick, your surname wouldn't be Barratt would it????? Seriously, it is a great feeling when everything falls into place like that, I just wish more of our trees could be like that - or would that make genealogy boring??
Benn
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Well done Nick, your surname wouldn't be Barratt would it????? Seriously, it is a great feeling when everything falls into place like that, I just wish more of our trees could be like that - or would that make genealogy boring??
Benn
It would be boring if it was always that easy, half the fun is in the chase - but what a fabulous achievement.
Are you now going to offer the tree to his family?
Jan
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Well done Nick, you have every right to be smug about such an achievement ;D
Many of us don't ever get that far back with our own families let alone someone else's ;D
Now if I gave you the name John Smith, probably born Liverpool, and asked you find him, how long will it take do you think ;D ;D He was my gt.grandfather and although I know a little about him, I can't find out his basic details apart from a marriage, and that was purely accidental ;)
Good luck and I await your reply....in about 5 minutes going on your present record ;D
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That's so great Nick. What a satisfying afternoon's work that was. Your friend would be so pleased. :)
I wish you good fortune in all your other searches.
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Well done Nick, your surname wouldn't be Barratt would it????? Seriously, it is a great feeling when everything falls into place like that, I just wish more of our trees could be like that - or would that make genealogy boring??
Benn
It would be boring if it was always that easy, half the fun is in the chase - but what a fabulous achievement.
Are you now going to offer the tree to his family?
Jan
I'm not sure - part of me would like to, but his younger sister took his death quite badly, because he helped so much in the family. He was a really great bloke. I don't want to upset or offend them. The tree is private, so nobody will find it.
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Nick, it is more than a year since your friend sadly passed away, so although his sister was naturally very upset at the time I'm sure she would be very grateful and really pleased to have a family tree.....especially if you presented it in such a way that it was a memorial tribute to her brother.
My brother also passed away Jan 2008 and that was such a shock to all the family. He was younger than me, and it certainly focuses the mind. But if someone had done such a wonderful thing for me I'd be delighted and very moved that you had taken the time to do it. Why not ask other family members what they think? If they know of your interest in family history they won't be too surprised I'm sure. You'll never know what their feelings might be if you don't ever let them know what you've done. Even if they refuse to look at it, at least they will know you were thinking about them, and that may be something that could help with their mourning process.
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What a good idea! Something to do when you get frustrated working on your own family! Hmmm ..... I'll have to think of what friend to work on. :D :D
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Nick, it is more than a year since your friend sadly passed away, so although his sister was naturally very upset at the time I'm sure she would be very grateful and really pleased to have a family tree.....especially if you presented it in such a way that it was a memorial tribute to her brother.
My brother also passed away Jan 2008 and that was such a shock to all the family. He was younger than me, and it certainly focuses the mind. But if someone had done such a wonderful thing for me I'd be delighted and very moved that you had taken the time to do it. Why not ask other family members what they think? If they know of your interest in family history they won't be too surprised I'm sure. You'll never know what their feelings might be if you don't ever let them know what you've done. Even if they refuse to look at it, at least they will know you were thinking about them, and that may be something that could help with their mourning process.
I may gently bring up the subject. My friend David's parents were still alive, which was a surprise for someone approaching 60, and because he was the nearest one geographically, he did a lot for them. The family had also lost another child about 5 years before to motor neurone disease, and his brother-in-law had also taken his own life, so there had been a lot of tragedy in the family. Ironically, David's own father had suffered a heart attack only a few years before, and he had been rescussitated, and he had a pacemaker fitted, but unfortunately this didn't happen when David also suffered a major heart attack.
I will gingerly bring up the subject, but I've been waiting over a year for just a few photos of my friend, and they are still to arrive.
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Well there's your 'way in' so to speak. Ask them if they have any photos of David and the family in general, and explain that you have been considering making a family tree as a tribute for the family. It's slightly economical with the truth, but the circumstances warrant it in my opinion. I think this way you will avoid upsetting anyone, and it's a perfectly reasonable request ;)
My hubby (also David) died more than 10 years ago now, from a massive heart attack, and his mum was also still living - aged 95 years! He was her only child, although he did have a brother who died in infancy, and also her last remaining blood relative, so it was no real surprise when she died quietly just 3 months later. The amazing thing is she had managed to reach that great age without suffering any major illness throughout her life, and we felt sure that if David hadn't died so suddenly she would still be with us now. She pretty much gave up on life really, which was understandable. As she said, you don't expect to be going to your child's funeral when you are 95 yourself :(
Anyway, best of luck and do let us know how you get on :)
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I think any parent outliving their child is tragic, but must be worse when you are 95 yourself ! I've emailed David's sister, and have told her that if anyone in the family objects to the tree I will destroy it. I'll let you know what transpires.
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What a lovely story, Nick - brings a tear to the eye! :'(
It's as though David wanted to offer something to his family as a remembrance, and chose you, his friend, to do it because you had the skills.
I look forward to hearing whether the family want to accept the tree you have done.
MarieC
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Good news...... David's sister thought it was a nice idea, and has accepted the invitation to view the tree :)
She has also promised to send me some photos. Maybe if I can get her interested enough, we can figure out a couple of "oddities" in the tree (all trees have them !).
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Great news, Nick! :D I'll look forward to hearing how it all goes.
MarieC
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Nick, do you fancy doing mine ;)
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Pleased for you too Nick with the good response from his sister. You have your memories but I do hope you get a photo eventually as well.
:) mare
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Good news...... David's sister thought it was a nice idea, and has accepted the invitation to view the tree :)
She has also promised to send me some photos. Maybe if I can get her interested enough, we can figure out a couple of "oddities" in the tree (all trees have them !).
That's wonderful, Nick ;D I do hope David's sister will share your interest and help you to add some 'random' information and some photos to make the tree 'come alive' a bit more. I also agree with MarieC, I think the three e-mails you exchanged with David were meant to be a starting point for you, and although he didn't realise you would never have that reunion, I'd like to bet that if you had met up again he would have been delighted to have a family tree drawn up by you :)
I'm sure you feel very excited now, I know I do and it's nothing to do with me ;D
Well done, and do keep us up to date :)