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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: bwgan ceredig on Sunday 06 April 08 15:48 BST (UK)
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It must be that because the alternative means my subconcious has some really wierd freudian slips.
Whilst reading various census pages I have been horrified at the descriptions/jobs. Even for such unenlightened times I thought describing someone as a 'mad labourer' was harsh...until I realised it was road labourer :-[
But 'child poisoner'...how on earth...oh, Chelsea pensioner :-X
Whilst reading registers just now came across the name Alien Smart...doh...ALLEN ::)
Please tell me it's not just me...it is?...oh...I'll fetch me coat :-[ ;D
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ROFL, child poisoner!! ;D ;D
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You and me both, bwgan.
I went for my usual walk today, where a little black and white cat usually comes up to me and I stroke him/her for a bit.
Saw the cat sitting 100m away, and was surprised that s/he did not come up to me. Until I continued on and stood right by the black plastic bag with bits of snow on it... ::)
Didn't go to Specsavers!
meles
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Thought, I needed my glasses when I thought I found a record for 'Adolf Hitler. Fuhrer' then after MUCH magnification realised it was Albert Hiller, Farrier.
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me too ROFL - haven't laughed so much since the 'mushy pea' thread. ;D ;D
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Thought, I needed my glasses when I thought I found a record for 'Adolf Hitler. Fuhrer' then after MUCH magnification realised it was Albert Hiller, Farrier.
;D ;D ;D
ROFL
Thank you all I feel much better!
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;D ;D
Although slightly off-topic, if you think you need new specs, then this will gladden your heart ...
At the age of 6 our daughter had perfectly good vision (I knew that because two days previously she'd had her eyes tested). T'was the school summer holidays, so, being a nice day we took her to the beach and, later went for a walk along the prom.
Because Daddy stopped every few yards to scan the horizon through his binoculars, he was soon left well behind, until I couldn't actually see him at all - with or without me specs - but the 6 year old could and having the younger, sharper eyes I was daft enough to believe her. So, we turned around, retraced our steps and walked for what must have been well over ¼mile, until it finally became obvious that 'Daddy' was none other than one of those giant plastic ice-cream cones!
From this we learnt a couple of valuable lessons: (1) be very careful which Optician you pick for your child and, (2) if you do happen to have grey hair by the time you're 38, do not wear beige trousers and/or stand still for very long - you may find 6 year-olds mistake you for an ice-cream.
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More than once I have spent valuable time trying to identify a particularly interesting bird only to discover that it is actually an old carrier bag......
Jennifer
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Been there, done that... it's white with tan markings... yes, it's a carrier pigeon - a Sainsbury's carrier pigeon! ::)
meles
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The late great Patrick Campbell once described his surprise on opening the Sunday Times and discovering that he had been appointed a Lady in Waiting to Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.
On re-reading he was relieved to discover a few moments later that it was in fact a Mrs Patrick Campbell-Preston who had been appointed, but, being the great writer he was, he managed to create a jolly good story out of it.
Jennifer
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I apologise if it's my William Williams that is sending your eyes funny!!! :D
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Does anyone else get the advert at the bottom of this page - "Dementia Care"? :o
meles
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I smile at people I think I know in the street. When I get closer, I find they're not :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
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;D ;D ;D ;D This reminds me of hubby, before his eyesight went. Years ago we were out walking through some fields when he stopped and held me back whispering, 'Look a rabbit'. I looked in the direction he was pointing but couldn't see it. 'Where?' 'There, I just saw it's ears move.' I still couldn't see it, so we walked gingerly over so's not to scare it only to find the branch of a tree. ;D Now every time we see branches on the ground, I ask him if he saw its ears move ;D
Su
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I shouldn't tell this story - it's a secret between me and my OH. But I know you won't tell anyone....
OH, as some of you know, is South African. Some 20 years ago, we went to SA to see the land of his birth. He took me to the Kruger Park to see the wild animals. I was given stern warnings - "Don't get out the car - it's very dangerous. There are lions and all sorts of animals that will kill you."
As we approached the game park in the car , we saw a large tan animal on the verge. "Keep on driving, keep on driving! It's a lion!" OH cried. I kept on driving. "Moo", said the the supposed lion. ::)
meles
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Thats a good story! I once saw a bear in the Rockies which turned into a guy squatting in the dirt to attend to a call of nature! Boy was I embarrassed.
Liz
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
LOL many times.
I thought it was only me who did stupid things like that, great to find I have so many similar friends. ;) ;) ;)
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I thought I saw an ad the other day for a "One-bedroom Fiat" - I know property is expensive these days so it sort of made sense ...
Diana
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Re: Liz’s story of “seeing” a bear in the Rockies reminds me of when I used to “house sit” for friends whilst on holiday - the real reason I was asked was for me to babysit their cat.
When I let her out into the garden around 10pm, I noticed a pattern immerging about getting her in again. She would either slip back in without me seeing her, or she would be outside totally ignoring my calls for her to return. Sometimes she was closely examining “something fascinating” (which, to my eyes, was invisible) on the path, or she would sit gazing up at the heavens – but still ignoring me.
One evening I called her in – but to no avail. I couldn’t see her – it was very dark and she had black fur, so checked inside the house – but no luck. As my calls were being ignored, I stopped calling her, and crept around the garden. Then, suddenly I saw her – sitting with her back to me – studiously examining something-or-other. So I quietly crept up to her – I stood there for a few minutes – quietly calling her; then realised I was actually calling an upturned flowerpot.
I went back into the house –and there she was – curled up on the settee, fast asleep. ::)
John