RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: suttontrust on Sunday 06 May 07 22:47 BST (UK)
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Not another rant about GR, but has anyone else noticed that increasingly people are requesting access to one's tree without any preliminaries? It's as if all the etiquette has gone out of the window and newcomers think that they're entitled to scan your tree for connections. I always reply politely with my email address, but I worry that a couple of my relatives who have nicked my tree and put it online have no such scruples.
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Suttontrust
I have noticed, but on the other hand, I have had e-mails from people requesting that I give them access to my tree and they have already opened their tree to me, without knowing whether there is a genuine connection. They have all been new to GR, so I wonder if it is not them being impolite, but just not realising what they are supposed to do. I don't know how we learned that we should contact someone with a possible ancestor in common, giving information to them to see if the connection was genuine and then opening your tree. Did we get instructions with the original GR. I can't remember.
Liz
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I don't know if you have noticed but when you contact people through Hot Matches ....the box is ticked to automatically open your Tree.
:-[ :-[ :-[ so I have inadvertently in the past opened my Tree to people that I only contacted to see if we were connected.
I have only had one of those...Can I see access your Tree requests, without any other information. I never heard from them again when I replied WHY ;)
Ambers
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Oh dear!
i think I am one of those guilty parties :o
I didn't realise there was a set rule in doing things, I always have my tree access ticked (as ambers pointed out) for anyone I contact regardless of whether they get back to me or not.
I am new to GR so please someone tell if I am doing the wrong thing!
Margaret
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Hi Margaret,
I can't remember any instructions when I joined GR but have learned a lot from reading other peoples Threads here.
I too find it best to establish a connection with the person, and check the details before adding anything to my Tree....some people have got their Tree so wrong anyway. :-\
I don't automatically copy and paste but some people do without doing much research or buying any certificates.
I have gained far more by acting this way, and from genuine people received a copy a Will and photographs...the joy of seeing my rellie's from the early 1800's. In return I will share my certificates, pictures, and have just made someone's day in Australia by sending a Will to her that she didn't know existed ;D
I never used Hot matches until six months ago, and didn't notice the box was al;ready ticked for access to my Tree at first :-[, in the other sections you have to tick it yourself.
Maybe GR should make the automatic letters sound a little polite at least..... NOT, Can I see your Tree ::) or Not related. ::) etc. . It really does sound so rude >:(
Ambers
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I have also had two people in the past week give me access to their trees and ask for mine. I have asked if we have a common ancestor but no reply. I don't give my tree without getting information in return.
Ros
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I can see how it can be a problem, sad that we have to distrust some people though!
I have not had replies from a couple of people, how do I know whether they have looked at my tree or not (i have the box ticked)
How hard would it be for a setup to show that- 'X' has accessed your tree??
On the subject of GR, when I get my email stating that I have a message and then it states 'click here.." Every time I click there my computer freezes. Now I just close the email and check GR inbox.
Does this happen to anyone else or is it my computer?
Margaret
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HI
Sorry, I am a lreative newbie to this forum and hope to be more active for all the fantastic information that you guys have access and the help you all sem to give each other. Hopefully I can share some of my knowledge too!
I have to ask though, what is this GR - is it another useful resource that is worth tapping into?
I would be happy to share my tree as i have over 800 names in it now and wouldnt mind using it as a resource to find other ancestors.
Thanks
lisa
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Hi Lisa,
welcome to Rootschat!
GR is GenesReunited.
It is a paying site, but reasonably cheap.
The general idea is that you put your tree up and GR find matches to other peoples tree, then you contact that person.
You may or may not allow access for that person to view your tree. You can also do searches.
Hence the argument. ;D
Margaret
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Thanks Maragaret.
Is this information accurate on there? I know that the whole subject of genealogy is fraught with inaccuracies in general but I am just gauging before shelling out my hard earned cash!!
Thanks for the welcome, I hope i can be a useful contributor.
Lisa
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I believe it's GR's fairly curt automatic responses. If you want to contact somebody there are a few of these and if people are too lazy to add a please or any sort of explanation as to why, then they don't get a favourable response from me and my access remains X'd.
Yes it is sad that not everybody has integrity and manners, but having received the demand from one person on two occasions without being able to find a connection, following which I discovered he had included the whole of somebody else's tree - including a family married into the direct line and so no close relationship at all, then I'm very skeptical until proved otherwise.
Mary
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It is always safe to check everyones trees to make sure they have got it right.
I am in contact with someone who has never bought one certificate and yet is determined that is her line.
Needless to say I went and bought 2 certificates to see if she links!
Still waiting with fingers crossed. ;)
I have found at least 7 real links (contacts) through GenesReunited. And have only joined in the last couple of months. You can sign up for a short time, and then if you don't like it - leave it.
We go over each others details, and look at any inaccuracies.
the best one was : my contact had a Jonas Denby marry a Mary Brear, so did I, but they were different marriage dates.
Turns out he married his first wifes 1st cousin. And because they were the same age and both born Bradford the census gave the impression it was the same person. If I had not met him in GR neither of us would have been any wiser.
the site is:
www.GenesReunited.co.uk
Hope I am allowed to put that up :-\
hope this helps
margaret
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Hi all,
Lisa, It's worth doing a search first to see if anyone else has people on their tree that match your ancestors. I like GR, for one thing it's a useful place to store the family tree, although there are other good sites for that that are free, like tribal pages.
As for people taking info off my tree, it doesn't really bother me as long as it's not living relatives. I like to share my family history, particularly as so few people are researching it. I do a search of the site every now and then to make sure no-one has put me or my living relatives on their tree without my permission, but apart from that, I give my info away freely.
Erin :)
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I've looked carefully at the info given by some of the tree-snatchers & they give baptismal dates in the very recent past (*not* related to current dates-eg 1999 for 1899). I wonder if the snatchers may be Mormons/Letter Day Saints trying to baptise anyone with the same name? Not an excuse for their actions, but a reason - in some cases anyway.
Maggott
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I have been a member of GR for a long time and have made many useful connections. However, I would advise anyone not to use GR for their main family tree, it is more advisable to have a dedicated programme on your own PC and use GR as a supliment.
I have a very large tree on my computer, only a fraction of which is on GR, also the information I keep on my GR tree is very basic, just names, year and Towns of BDMs, this is sufficient for others doing a name search to decide if they think we may have a link.
Sadly, there are some people who expect to have everything handed to them on a plate, or they will incorporate your whole tree into their own, regardless of whether they are genuinely connected, and others who will take what you have to offer without sharing their own information
I am happy to open the tree to anyone who appears to have a proven connection, then once we have exchanged basic deatails, I prefer to correspond with them direct and will happily pass on full details of the branch through which we are connected, including certificates, wills and other documentation and sources. This ensures only genuine researchers get the the benefit of my years of research and expenditure, I would still expect them to do there own checks on whatever I have passed on as I do don't claim to be infallible.
Jebber
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Hi all
I have mixed feelings about GR. I have found quite a few 3rd cousins through the hot matches and am in contact regularly with many of them. One of them lives locally and we are now becoming freinds which is lovely. I have been generous with family photos and letters and they have been generous with information in return - so all worked out well.
Other times people have contacted me and then I have heard nothing. Sometimes I have contacted people and they have not replied. Or replied once and then nothing. On the other hand, I am probably a little guilty of that sometimes too when I get sidetracked on another line and "forget" about them for a while.
Just a thought for anyone who has accidently opened their tree...if you go into the contacts section you can check the box again and remove their access quite easily.
I never used to worry about my tree being open to people but recently have become concerned that as more and more trees are posted on the web, people are using these to cross reference information rather than original sources. It could end up with the situation where a few people have the same info in the tree and the conclusion is that if they all think the same then it must be true. (I once followed a few trees I found on the web and on Ancestry and they were all citing each other as sources in a big circle!). Unfortunately, if all this information comes from the same original source and is incorporated into various trees over time, then the cross-referencing doesn't really work.
Also, my latest quandry... I have some information in my tree pre 1800 from Parish records which was kindly shared with me by a very experienced person complete with source annotations and "workings out". We have sinced worked together to add to this information. If I were now to share this information I would be giving away something which was not all my own work in the first place. But without sharing I don't feel I can ask others to share their info with me. So this line is temporarily closed and I am not sure what to do about it!
Any thoughts?
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I must admit to being in total agreement with Jebber.
I have my main tree totally separate and my GR tree is very basic too.
I have been 'stung' once by someone who was distantly related, I sent her photographs, newspaper cuttings and she didn't respond at all to any of my questions. It really upset me.
One thing on GR that you have to be careful of is that you have 'ticked' the box to not show 'living relatives'. This I didn't know until some kind sole on Rootschat informed me. I promptly changed it!!
On the other hand, I have found some very useful people via GR and we have exchanged information via email.
I have noticed that people tend to open their trees very openly, without even being asked. I must admit I look at them, but never use any of the information - I like to do all my own work.
FEK33 ;D ;D
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Just had an e-mail via Ancestry last week from someone wanting all information I had on my great-grandmother listed on a family tree I'd posted. If they'd taken a better look it would be clear that I don't have a tree posted on Ancestry but had only posted a correction (at the owner's request) to one that's completely messed up. E-mailed the person back asking if we are related but haven't heard back yet.
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Hi all,
Lisa, It's worth doing a search first to see if anyone else has people on their tree that match your ancestors. I like GR, for one thing it's a useful place to store the family tree, although there are other good sites for that that are free, like tribal pages.
Erin :)
HI Erin
Thanks and good point. I made a small tree on GR today just to see if i get any links. I did fond one posible person tht might have a link to me and I have politely emailed her asking if she wants to share information.
I dont mind people sharing my information as long as it the basic stuff up there but like a lot of others here, i have done a heck of a lot of hard work over the past two years and will share with others who have done similar work or who i might have a link with.
I certainly dont want to pass info on at a whim though - if that makes sense.!
Lisa
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I agree with many of the comments which have been made on this thread.
I have just this last week, had a "newbie" contact who allowed me to see her tree, without checking. We were connected and I opened my Tree. I then found that she had added all my side to her site(including my name)
I contacted her and being new she just hadn't understood the protocol ,so I spent some time giving her some advice.
I also gave her links to this site and to the Beginners thread.
I,m sure most of us did things when we first used the internet, now make us cringe .
Spring
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I have just one of those situations on genes right now ...maybe someone can help me out here?
I've been contacted by someone who is clearly related and I wrote back giving my email address and offering to exchange information.
I return I got one of those requests to view my tree. She has opened hers to me and it contains precisely one person - herself! Bearing in mind she may be a newcomer and I don't want to appear snotty or put anyone off ...how do I politely say show me the goods first?!
I have a LOT of information on her line which has taken many hours and a lot of money to put together ;D
Heather
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Hi
I agree with your comments about GR, the frustrating part I find is when someones name keeps popping up on HOT matches, you write to them, get no reply for weeks etc. Only to find when they do reply , you can find no direct link and they have 19,000 ancestors on their tree I think NOT!!
One person had my gr gr grandfather all his siblings on and his wife and her siblings etc, no direct link.
I feel very reluctant to open my tree for this person
Jo
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Go carefully with contacts you find via GR is my advice. When I started on our FH, I used GR and was contacted by someone whom I knew was related to us. He 'lifted' all my stuff with no 'may I?' first, including many of my errors which I have now corrected on the tree on my computer! I have watched his tree on GR over the past 3 years, and have seen it go from 15 people, to 50, to 5,000 in a matter of months ... accurate ? I very much doubt it !
FH on RootsChat is a much more civilsed matter ... give and take, help freely given, friends made. What more could one want ?
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:) couldnt agree more Lydart
Jo
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I have mixed feelings about GR.
I have been given access to trees without asking - and the amount of personal information disclosed to me about living people is embarrassing - their occupations, where they work, previous spouses, childrens names and ages - it's ridiculous.
I have replaced my "full tree" with just a single line that I'm stuck on and hopefully a "hot match" will come my way.
The other side of the coin is that another rootschatter to whom I'm related (and met through Rootschat) did make an excellent contact through GR that has benefitted both of us greatly but which wouldn't have been made if he didn't have his/our tree up there.
RonnieG
Looking over the above before posting, I think my attitude to GR is very selfish but what is a boy to do?
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Well following on from my previous post and not having used hte site before i registered and sent a few polite requests out only to get a lovely email from the grand daughter of my lost great grandmothers brother.
this is the infamous relative (Harriet Mary Fowler) that i have been searching for for two years to no avail. It turns out this lovely lady on GR has photographs but did not know who Harriet married which i am going to help her out with.
So, i finally solve a mystery in my family and another kind soul gets some information for their tree that she never had too - so it cant all be bad over there.
Im defintely airing on the side of caution though and have heeded the advice to only have a basic tree up there and keep the in depth stuff here on my laptop!
Lisa
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Today I just had a GR e-mail saying " ??" has opened her Tree.
Same name and date. I answered suggesting that she should really not be so trusting and then I contacted GR asking if it possible That a prominent Beginners link could be put on the Home Page.
I thought that there was a link once?
Spring
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HeatherB,
In "Shared Trees" try clicking on the name of the Ancestor ,rather than the Contact with only their name showing and Relative 1 on the box.
I have a similar contact and was somewhat annoyed until I followed the other path and found another tree with 357 rellies .
Spring
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Just come from genes, and I agree that the forum has changed.
But politeness does not.
I always make a point of replying even if there is no connection it only takes a moment.
I have had some good contacts, they last for awhile until they have obtained the required information.
Recently a contact and myself thought we had the same family, I than found out it was not so. She did not even acknowledge my last e-mail the moment she knew there was nothing for her, yet it was me looking up census etc she asking.
Well I have had my moan
I only keep my direct line on genes, my full on tribalpages.
I will say the most helpfull people have been from here, one sent me a personal e-mail and even though she had no connection she gave every assistance. Another member gave me her whole tree.
Well must stop moaning and carry on researching.
helina
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I've just had to renew my GenesReunited. Had reservations, but it's worth the cost in the end. I've had a lot recently of people contacting me about a family I'm clearly interested in and opening their trees to me. When I look, they're not related at all to the people (the second husband of an great uncle's wife or something is in their tree, but for some reason it's fun to trace a completely irrelevant line to them back to the roots). Frankly I don't see what satisfaction some people get about researching their Uncle Fred's second wife's brother's wifes grandmother and finding all they can out. I thought it was 'family history', not 'someone else's family history'. ::)
Another thing, why oh why does it not let you delete people's parents from your tree on there? Yeah it won't let you delete people who have two relations on there. Oh thanks, great help. So it means if I want to remove 2 people because of an error, I've got to go to the effort of exporting a new gedcom and uploading it rather than just clicking delete twice? About as useful as sunglasses to a vampire. ::)
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Hi Golding I had the same problem with Genes Reunited so now I do not
put my tree on there.
I have my own cd which I obtained and do all my tree on that.That way I can add and delete without any problems.
I make notes of any information I find or come across and add and delete at will.
Ecclescake.
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This thread has got me curious again ... I just checked into GR, and found this as 'Hot Matches' with my family ...
John Williams 1834 Wick, Gloucestershire
Florence Monk 1922 Edmonton, London
Alice Chadwick 1910 Old Waterfoot, Haslingden, Lancashire
George Tidswell 1909 Haslingden, Lancashire
Frances Allen 1861 Parowan, Iron, Utah, USA
Henry Williams 1889 Chewton, Keynsham, Somerset
I DO have a John Williams ... but he was born in 1839, in Dorset
I DO have a Henry Williams ... born 1883, in Hampshire
But who are the rest of these people ? I have no idea how the GR programme works, but to give me six people I've never heard of as people on MY tree ... is amazing, and frankly, quite annoying and time wasing.
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Hello again
I think the GR computer program just "grabs" people's names at random and then send them out randomly too and maybe 1 in 10,000 is a match.
Liz
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I have to say, I've never had any problems with random names generated on my hot matches. All the people named high on my hot matches list are people that share a branch of my tree. It does annoy me a bit though that it lists every single person who has one name match with you.
If it's just one name it's unlikely to be a match. Hot matches should be 3 matches and up or something like that.
Erin :)
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tonniemags, I have found if you delete the children except 1, you can delete the parents
helina
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I've had a lot recently of people contacting me about a family I'm clearly interested in and opening their trees to me. When I look, they're not related at all to the people (the second husband of an great uncle's wife or something is in their tree, but for some reason it's fun to trace a completely irrelevant line to them back to the roots).
Hi sgolding
I might be a bit guilty of that as I do sometimes contact people right on the far edges of my tree either because I have a missing person and think that maybe they may be staying with a cousin or something - you never know OR more generally just to say hello and if they have anyone missing I might be able to help. I don't generally open up my tree though - just tell them I'm there and leave it at that.
I did contact a distant person once and she replied and was able to tell me what happened to my great grandmother's brother's family... because the two trees linked in the middle at that point....which was quite interesting as they are a bit of a mystery.
I wouldn't want to start researching right down their line though...but each to their own I guess. ;D
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I have discontinued my subscripiton to GR because in the year I belonged I only found one possible connection and the lists and lists of 'hot matches' really got on my nerves!
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I must have just been really lucky, because there are a lot of people who don't seem to like GR, but it has been one of the best resources I've had in terms of helping me with various lines of my tree.
Via Genes I have been able to contact a distant cousin on my dad's side who has generously filled me in on most of my Dad's Mum's family, including giving me info from certificates and a photo of my Grandma's first wedding, and I saw a pic of G-Grandparents and 2xGreat-Grandparents for the first time :D
I have also just got in contact with a third cousin on my Mum's side who knew nothing of her Irish roots, or the relatives to whom we are both related. I am taking great pleasure in filling her and her Uncle in on my findings. ;D
All in all, I think it depends what GR can do for you. What I like the most about genes is that I can share my research with anyone with a genuine interest, and as yet, I haven't been approached by 'name collectors'. I can understand why people can get annoyed with it, but I think it's definitely worth giving a try as it's inexpensive and so many people use it.
Cheers
Erin :)
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I have found if you delete the children except 1, you can delete the parents
I found the exact opposite...even with all but on of the children deleted (to delete that remaining one, I'd have to delete the rest of the tree from me up first), it still doesn't let me. ???
I might be a bit guilty of that as I do sometimes contact people right on the far edges of my tree
I must admit, I do that too. But a lot of cases I've seen the research has gone to the far edges of their tree, researched back 10-generations, then researched back down another branch I'm connected too. Really, I don't seem an awful lot of point in doing that and searching for more people to force into a massive tree of colossal proportions. ???
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When I hit, yet another brickwall, the far outside of my tree is a great place for detective work. Out there you'll find marriage witnesses... step siblings.... places the family moved too.
Just occasionally the bit that fits the jigsaw.
If only people would give access to their trees, I could delete so many possibles.
I now have 6 birth certificates for Robert Norris, 2 death cert's and still can't find him.
Lesanne.
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Lesanne - that's why I haven't found my g.grandad. I would be bankrupt buying all the possible birth certificates in his name. I have at least got his death certificate, but it is his early life I am interested in, I know about his later life - well from 1884 onwards, when he would have been mid 20s. I've been a little bit sideways in my tree, but unfortunately, the ancestors I found, related to my g.gran didn't have any information about g.grandad. Oh and there's no marriage certificate, so can't get a father's name either.
Liz
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I've had mixed results from GR. Having found my maternal grandfather after seven years of searching I input his details, got "hot matches" and, after correspondence and opening my tree (possibly a mistake!), a large chunk of my tree is now added to theirs. We're related but it's distant, we share a common great grandfather ???
However, very much on the plus side, I posted a query, totally forgot about it, and months later got a message from a lady whose sister had some details for me - an email address was given. The result was a very high brickwall was knocked down - verification is still needed but I now know where to look and have dates to work on ;D
Tim
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Hi Tim
I may be missreading - but I love extending my tree sideways & sharing a common great grandfather with someone means they are your second cousin - I know lots of my second cousins (children of my mother's cousins) and I think they are close relatives ??? I got overexcited about meeting a 5th cousin - which is beginning to get rather long way distant :(
Trish
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I agree with Trish.
Whenever I make a new connection I always try to fill out my tree along that level - with siblings and their children - spouses and their siblings and parents.
I think it all adds colour to my tree and helps me place my direct ancestors in context, particularly if they are from an area that is new to me.
RonnieG
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I too agree with Trish.
Both myself and my fourth cousin, once removed, who I met via GR and have met up for a cup of coffee are both working at sorting out which other 'branches & twigs' belong to us. We are regularly in contact and it is exciting when we can exchange further info.
I have also had a lot of 'give me access to your tree' requests. I politely reply stating that I do not give access to my tree but am happy to swap info regarding our connection. This seems to be working. ;D
FEK 33
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Second try, my previous reply disappeared somewhere before I had even finished typing it!
What is going on today, the above sentence was posted, again whilst I was still trying to type my thoughts. Someone is trying to tell me something I think.
Anyway what I was going to say was that I have been contacted by 4 second/third cousins via GR and have received lots of info and photos from them of relatives of my mum who hadn't even seen the photos, which included ones of her gran and siblings and her uncle.
One of these third cousins even tried to help me in my search for ancestors of my dad, even though he has absolutely no connection to them.
Most of these 2nd/3rd cousins still live fairly close to each other and are hoping to meet up in a pub. Unfortunately, as I live about 3-4 hours drive away, I probably won't be there, but am looking forward to seeing more photos.
Liz
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Most of these 2nd/3rd cousins still live fairly close to each other and are hoping to meet up in a pub. Unfortunately, as I live about 3-4 hours drive away, I probably won't be there, but am looking forward to seeing more photos.
Liz
Go!!!
RonnieG
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Hi Ronnie
I may do, depending when they arrange the meeting. I have a friend up there who is ill with cancer, so will probably be going to see her, so if I contacted one of my relatives, they could perhaps arrange a meeting to coincide.
Liz
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Do try and get there Lizzy - I had a trip last year (in Oz) & met up with quite a few 2nd cousins - it was wonderful. Being thousands of miles from UK, I tend to think anywhere over there is very close ;D
Trish
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Trish
I suppose places are relatively close to each other, it is just that our motorways are so packed that driving from the south to the north of England takes longer than it should and often entails sitting in slow moving traffic jams.
Liz
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Liz,
You could always invite them all down to your house!
RonnieG
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Ronnie
I could, but it is not large enough to put them all up. Also one of my sons and his eldest son are temporarily (for 2 weeks since beginning of last December!) camping with us, that includes both spare bedrooms full of suitcases, clothes, tvs etc and a garage that is full to bursting.
All in all, I think it would be easier for me to travel up to see them. Also my husband wants to visit some cemeteries within a few miles of them to look for graves of some of his ancestors.
Liz
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Liz,
Sounds like you could do with the break!
Now's your chance to run away.
RonnieG
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You're right, but with the weather like it is now, I'd rather go somewhere hot and dry (which is not Manchester!). I'm allowed to say that being born in Manchester. ;D ;D
Liz
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I know what you mean.
I am hoping to find that I am related to someone in the south of France or maybe Spain, so that I can go do look-ups myself! (important for accuracy!)
So far the farthest south I have traced is the Isle of Wight.
RonnieG
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I have my Spanish or Portuguese g.g.grandmother if only I could find her, or even my g.grandfather when he was young.
Spain and Portugal are large enough to spend a lot of time searching for a needle in a haystack (there should be a term for searching for an ancestor who can't be found).
Logging off now, have to pick a granddaughter up from school (she's at a private school, hence she stays there until 5pm).
Liz
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My illegitimate father's father was said to have been Italian ... do you think that's enough of an excuse to visit Italian record offices, with maybe a little diversion to the Uffizi, Siena, Rome, Venice ... about a month would give me a chance to find out something, I'm sure !!!
;D ;D ;D ;D
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I doubt you would find much in a month - what with the language difficulties etc.- anyway these matters shouldn't be rushed - accuracy is paramount - we are all relying on you to return with volumes of local knowledge - Rootschat is depending on you.
How many more excuses do you need!?
RonnieG
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I'll google for a cheap train ticket ...
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I had a GR contact this week, they allowed me to view thier tree but did not ask to view mine, I quickly realised we were not connected but I much prefer a personal message rather than that approach.
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I've been in touch with 3rd cousins who share a common great great grandfather. Our great grandfathers were brothers and used to write to each other so we've been able to swap some of the letters and photos they sent each other in about 1900. We mail quite a lot and one of them lives about 15 minutes away from me so we have been able to meet up. We've really been able to add life to our trees by getting both sides of the letters and all the family tales.
I think it's hit and miss with contacts on any of the websites but definitely worth giving it a go as the benefits are fabulous if it works out. :D
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Our great grandfathers were brothers and used to write to each other so we've been able to swap some of the letters and photos they sent each other in about 1900.
How fantastic is that?
I'm off to GR to put my tree back up.
RonnieG
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You never know... ;D
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Overall I like GR because when I joined I found 3 relatives in a week! Not bad for £7.50! I never give access to my tree without establishing a connection first. When you contact a hot match rather than replying to one the box is automatically ticked to share your tree so watch out! Never had a problem in the last 9 years of research!
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Thats a good tip, I had not realised that , I myself have never had any problems with Genes. :)
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I had someone write to me, via another method of contact. They sent me their tree and although there was no common connection they still asked me to send my tree. I couldn't see what the reason would be for that so didn't send it.
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I have a small Tree on GR, in the hope that it will help me breakdown a brickwall.
Although like most, I have had some irritating experiences.... mostly Hot Matches, it's not all bad.
I have made some fantastic, genuine contacts.
Three of them have stayed in touch, and we up-date each other on finds.
I was able to forward copies of certificates and a Will to two of them, this has finally proved the connection they needed to come down a generation...after that we are all stuck.
The reply of: Oh WOW.....thank you so much... said it all.
The other genuine contact, we have worked together for a year, and have at last found rellie's down to to-day.
So once again it proves that it's down to the sort of people re-searching. If you are a taker of information you can lose out, I have been lucky and gained more than I have lost on GR. One person sent me photographs of eight of my rellie's, an Ideal Home Exhibition Booklet with their background and a Will, I in turn, sent the birth and marriage certificates when I managed to buy them six months later.
I did E-mail GR about the box being automatically ticked from Hot Matches.........I am one of the guilty parties for opening my Tree to strangers in my enthusiasm to find rellie's ::)
As for the rude members...not a lot we can do, that's life ::)
Ambers
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Last week I went back to the tree of a contact, who in Feb.last year sent me pages of our mutual family. I found that he has entered another 2 branches with over 100 rellies and details of their BMDs/Baptisms and their emigrations to Australia.
On here I have found the Link to Australian Records and now have details of the families arrival and the ships they on which they journeyed
Also a"new" 5x great Grandfather.
Well worth the £7.50. I would never have been able research the families in person
Spring
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Another this about GR, although they're usually hopeless I thought they said on their site that Hot Matches come every 14-days? Sorry, but my last lot was on May 15th (I log all research, even when hot matches come in since I check them)...that's more than 14-days. ::)
When they do work, I have had a few good ones from the recently amongst the rubbish...so it does all work out I suppose. Certainly worth what they charge.
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I was just wondering what you guys would consider the 'rules or 'etiquette' in sharing family trees? I have always believed that you should contact the person and ask if you can use the information in their try, in politeness you should reference this position if you ever publish (privately or publicly) your family history (that includes their research) and offer to share your own information in return (or any other possible favors, such as lookups). Would this be considered a good way of going about this sort of thing?
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Yes, of course thats the polite way to do it. But a lot of people on here have been contacted through GR hot-matches; offered info, and then found the lot on the GR site without their permission being sought, and no reciprocal help given ... I'm all for sharing and helping one another ... thats what RootsChat is for ... but unfortunately there are a grabbing minority out there who want everything, dont say 'thanks', and give nothing.
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Lydart: I thought it would be the right way to go about things, and yes there are people out there who think that because it's over the internet you don't have to be polite...and then there are those who even in real life are the same. I hope I don't experience anyone like this.
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but unfortunately there are a grabbing minority out there who want everything, dont say 'thanks', and give nothing.
Indeed, and that is the problem. I can count on one hand the number of people I've shared information with who've actually thanked me for it...no, instead the rest of the researchers in the world are taken for granted as if the people you've sent the information too have a god-given right to it. It's people who do just that who take all the pleasure out of contacting others and sharing your findings...and being treated like we don't matter takes away all the incentive to ever share information. Sadly all it seems to be with some people is getting what they can, and they vanishing like a phantom into the night.
This week a few people went to thank me for my research and tell me how much of a good job they think I'm doing in my one-name study. I can't describe how that makes one feel to know that I'm appreciated for all the time and work I've put in. It makes everything in this hobby worthwhile when those you share information with use those two little words, and if more people did that I don't think anyone would complain at all about how their research is used.
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I suppose any info we find about our families in the past, also belongs to someone else as a descendent of that same family ... but it is so nice when they say a simple thank you, and then you can get together, and work together ... and make friends, as well as being distant relatives ... thats what its all about !
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Indeed, and that is the problem. I can count on one hand the number of people I've shared information with who've actually thanked me for it...no, instead the rest of the researchers in the world are taken for granted as if the people you've sent the information too have a god-given right to it.
Hi Simon
I find that so disappointing - I don't have my family on the net, but I have found a few cousins through chat boards and their postings on the net (not GR) Only once have I been disappointed with the contact - I asked where her information came from & noted that what she had of my family was incorrect (I foolishly gave the correct information) & never heard from her again!
But a couple of days ago via a VERY distant cousin in law I had contact with a 4th cousin - yet again living on a different continent to me - but we are having a ball exchanging information - when it works - fabulous!
Trish
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I do find it very disappointing that the times I've been thanked and treated as more than simply a means to an end are the notable exceptions to the norm for me. It shouldn't be that way really...we're meant to all be here helping each other and being civil. I was brought up to believe that civility costs nothing...and that there are sections of society that seem unable to use words such as "please" and "thank you" doesn't really sit well with me. Unfortunately such is the world today though. :(
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Hi Guys......
My experience of GR is mixed........
I was contacted by someone who definitely had the correct info, about one branch of the family. I did try to stall them, desperately wanting new info about my great grandparents etc....
In the end, I released my tree....which had taken years to do, cost me a lot of money in certificates, and travel. Their tree was released to me, and there was NO ONE on it I could relate to AT ALL........I honestly think they were professional genealogists, working for a relative, who took my well researched, and costly, family tree, and charged for it! I was back to the 1740's with this branch............
On the other hand ! Through GR, I am now in contact with my grandmothers, siblings children , and grandchildren, and even great grandchildren. I never thought it would be possible. The family all lost touch with each other, during the blitz on Liverpool.
My grandmother was living in Leeds. It is WONDERFUL.
However.......Without wonderful ROOTSCHAT......I would never have even found the family at all, to put on GR......when I joined this site, I only had the address in Liverpool, where my mother was born in 1917.....
Thanks to ROOTSCHAT, and nobody else....I have a lovely extended family.... I can even lay claim to be related to Liverpool Annie, distantly, but it is there.......
Just this week, I have been contacted by a direct rellie, even lives in the same town....but I am taking it very carefully. I will release my tree when I am ready.....
Regards to all...
JeannieR
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I always reply to such requests that my tree is private. I am not a paid-up member so I cannot access other trees, (or make initial contacts) and see no reason to display mine either, although I am happy to answer enquiries and send "down charts" generated by my software.
I made the mistake of opening my tree to someone who then copied all my tree to their own, despite it being 99% irrelevant to her. Her copies of my research were misspelled and did not conceal the details of living people.
Even if I was a full member, I would still keep my tree private. As I said, I am happy to share information with people who actually message me.
I have over 14000 entries on my tree so I am never short of people making "1st contact".. up to 20 a day. With such a large db it seems good politics to be sparing with what I have. I cannot ask permission from so many people so I have to keep it discreet