RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: pennine on Sunday 31 December 06 19:01 GMT (UK)
-
Hi I received a card a few days ago from a woman claiming to be my half sister. I have already been in touch with a half sister and brother and at the time me until her mother died
My problem is do I contact this lady, she has left it up to me, I have an address and a phone number but what do I do?
-
Hi,
I'd write and try to get details confirmed then you will know if she is who she claims to be; but then I'm naturally curious!
Nanny Jan
-
This message seems to be edited some what . What I wanted to say was that my experience with the half brother was a nightmare and now hubbie is saying be very careful etc. I have got to say half brother was a user but half sister was o.k. What would be other people's advise here?
Pennine
-
pennine
is this lady from the same family as the other half siblings. If so, is it possible to speak to your half sister to see if she knows her, etc.
As hubby says just be careful and don't raise your hopes too high.
Best wishes with your decision
dinie
-
Pennine,
I have to admit that the curiosity of the situation would drive me crazy as well. Obviously, she has your address and can satisfy her own curiosity about you if she chooses without you knowing about it. My suggestion is that you follow the basic safety rules and meet in a public place- let's face it you are dying to know more about her or you wouldn't ask for advice here. Get hubby to go with you or another person you can trust to rescue you from an uncomfortable situation. You know someone who can remind you to "pick up Aunt Minnie in ten minutes" type of thing.
If the contact is to be other than a face to face meeting, again, the best thing is to give only what you would have no problem seeing posted on a local billboard for the world to see. If it works out look how much richer you life may become. If not, then you gave it a shot, got your curiosity satisfied and you never have to open your door to that person again.
I wish you luck with this - you may find much more than you ever dreamed of finding.
Granma Anne
-
I agree with Granma Anne. Play it safe, but I would definitely play it.
What a shocker, to find something like this out. My dad found this out and chose to ignore the situation. Some of us have been secretly in contact with the other family a little. I don't know your situation toward the halves, but my dad's was due to philandering and very painful to him I am sure.
Kath
-
Thanks for those replies, yes I agree that I could find something special but what I wanted to say in my original posting which somehow got edited don't know why ( probably because I am computer thick) was that this lady was supposedly told of my existence when I first contacted my natural mother. I was told then by my natural mother that she had no interest in me what so ever. However, recent card states she did not even know about me until mother's death. Natural mother has proved to be a perverter of the truth being ten years older than she said she was and she told lies on her second marriage cert. which stated she was a spinster etc and much more. My bad experience with half brother makes me wary. Thought I might write first and put my view point. She must have got my address from Nat. Mother's husband who has sent me a Christmas card since mother's death. We did not get one this year so I can only assume that he must have died too. Got to say when I first found natural mother her husband who is no relation what so ever was over the moon and made me really welcome. She on the other hand, denied all knowledge until I confronted her with irrefutable evidence she then back peddled and went for the sympathy vote. I was pleased to have found her at first but then ended up disliking her although I never fell out with her. I once asked her why she had abandoned me as a baby and she had been drinking at the time. She replied that I was spoiling her life. How true that must have been. I was her first born and she was married to my father at the time. They divorced after her repeated affairs with other men.Words came back to haunt me - Grandma on my dad's side, who brought me up, said when I indicated that I might find mother one day, ' I hope you never find her, she is a vicious self centered woman who will cause you nothing but trouble. Her son my half brother, certainly did.
Pennine
-
Oh Pennine, I can see why you have the hesitancy. It doesn't sound like it has been easy. I would take things slow and think about it. Let us know what you decide. I am sending a virtual hug for the New Year.
Kath
-
Hi Pennine
Good luck with your decision, my friend had a very similar experience, and luckily she did take it slowly, which was the best decision she ever made, as it worked out, her half brothers and sisters were not the type of people she wanted to mix with.
Again good luck and take your time, no rush, half sister not going anywhere.
Happy New Year
Jane
-
Pennine,
Interesting story you tell. Makes me think a bit. Scuse me while I ramble through this one. Natural mother vicious, self-centered manipulator who drank. Hmm, You seem to be a nice caring person who has done well with her life, so not like natural mother. Half-brother fell into the same pot natural mother spit him out of - OK that is probably genes at work there. He got her worst ones, you didn't. Half-sister seems to be an ok person so not like natural mother. Natural mothers's last husband kind and welcoming person. That's a good point. Did he father any of these half sibling? New half-sister unknown element. What would be her reason for contacting you. What does she have to gain? Better yet, why did your natural mother tell you this person had no interest in you? Was she lying? What was your Natural mother afraid of? Let's face Pennine, your natural mother had a lot more to be afraid of with you involved in her life. I suspect her lying and deceiving habits led all of her children on a merry chase through life. I also suspect there may be a bit of envy on their part as far as you are concerned. You were raised by a loving father and Grand parents - what did they have? A spiteful, self-centered mother who probably never had time for them. at least not in the way they would have wanted. Methinks you came out the best on the deal!
Granma Anne
-
Hi Grandma Ann what you say may be true. When I first contacted my natural mother I realized that her life style was not mine and I was never ever brought up to know that kind of life style. (Grandma was very anti drink to the point of obsession really.) But that has not unduly influenced me I like a beer with the rest of them. My dad, granddad and grandma were educated people who respected others. I have educational achievements of which I am proud. Having said all that I am not a snob I have worked for twenty five years with working class people, most of them not working, I admire all people who fight against all adversity no matter what their status in life might be. The card I received was fraught with spelling mistakes and errors but what came through loud and clear was that this woman wants to meet me. However my reticence is that having met her full blooded brother who eventually stole money from me I am ambivalent about what to do next. Her sister is a nice person but the brother - no. And my question is why did they not tell her about me at the time?
Pennine
-
Pennine,
I wish you luck in making your decision. If you are kind but play it a bit cool, maybe that will protect you. You know, get together in a neutral location, chat, but don't make any promises or assumptions about anything. Those are just my thoughts.
I've been on the other side, only not as a sibling. Thanks to my inquiring mind, my (deceased) grandmother's half-brothers learned of her existence. I've been in touch with one half-brother. He has been pleasant and polite in his emails / letters but hasn't sent me any details about his family (not even about his father, my g-grandmother's second husband). I asked if he would be willing to send me copies of photos of his mother (my g-grandmother) at my cost but he never responded to that request. I figured, he doesn't know me from Adam, so he's playing it cool. I sent him the data I had gathered and copies of pertinent documents that prove the relationship, etc.
I've also been in touch with my grandmother's father's family. (Well, we think he was probably her father, as he was married to her mother, who seems to have left him while pregnant with my grandmother.) My grandmother's (probable) half-brother on that side doesn't want to have anything to do with me or the whole situation; I've been in touch with his son & his family and they've been very nice and open with me. My grandmother's (probable) half-sister has been very nice to me, too.
According to my mother, it's possible that my father got some other women pregnant while he was married to my mother; I wonder if I will ever hear from any half-siblings of my own? I guess time will tell...
Regards,
Josephine
-
"And my question is why did they not tell her about me at the time?"
That question is one no one here can answer for you! Obviously, there is much more to all of this than you can relate to us. I am looking at the surface facts you have written. What I see is the root of all of this lies with your natural mother and she is no longer in the picture manipulating people and influencing other lives. Overall, it sounds to me like she had a very 'dysfunctional' family and I hate to use that tag because it has been so abused. You are only aware of a small part of her life and how she treated (and raised) her other children. I suspect it was very poorly. I also suspect she may have used you to her advantage over them. This third half- sibling may have been on the outs with her for a long time. How much did she reveal to you about the others? Pennine, trying to get inside her head only opens the door to falling into her trap. you already know that you were lucky to be raised out of sight, out of mind from her. I think you know these other children have had their lives royally screwed by her. I don't know if they are seeking a relationship with you for the good of all or if they are trying to satisfy their curiosity. A good guess is they probably wish they had been given your opportunity to get away from her. Lord knows I would if had I been in their shoes, from what you have said about her.
If you want an answer to your question, as close to the truth as you will get. You will have to ask both of these half sisters and draw your own conclusion from what you get back. I stick with my original advice and everyone else has given you very good suggestions. Please let us know of the final outcome.
Granma Anne
-
Granma Ann how wise you are. Of course I have thought these things through myself. Having come through life as a virtual 'only child', and to find my natural mother at the age of 40, was a big deal for me. Having said that I realise how close I was to her during the absent years. Not close emotionally but physically. She lived not more then ten miles away, and during my teenage years she worked at a place less than a mile and half from my home. I frequented the same pub that she did with her second husband. It is bizarre that she may have even brushed shoulders with me and did not know who I was and I did not know her. Yet my joy at finding her was overshadowed by her denial of me. This was not through fear of losing the new family. they couldn't have been nicer, but I think it was more to do with her guilt at abandoning a baby girl. Society used to view women who abandoned their babies as pariahs.
I think I will take this very slowly indeed. Thanks for your advice.
Pennine
-
Hi Pennine,
I think before I had any form of contact with this person I would want firm evidence of her claimed relationship, then proceed with extreme caution. Good luck I hope she proves to be genuine and someone you can form a good relationship with.
-
It sounds to me like you are weighing the likelihood of an emotionally wrenching and negative experience versus the lesser possibility (at least in your mind) of finding a loveable rellie whom you would be delighted to know. If you really thought the latter was a sound possibility, you would not be hesitating, I don't think.
If I'm right about this, then you probably would do well to, first, ascertain that she is indeed who she says she is (although you seem willing to believe this), and, second, do a little research on her - whatever you can legally get hold of where you live. You might even consider hiring a PI to give you a report, to protect yourself from the emotional wrenching. It sounds to me like you really only want to know her if she's an asset in your life, not simply because she could be your half-sister.
Might you consider a phone call as a first contact? Perhaps you could use a non-traceable phone. This would give you a very real sense of what she's like, but you wouldn't have to actually see her.
We wish you well. Hope it works out for the good.
-
Dear Pennine.
What a difficult decision to have to make, especially as its stirred up so much in you from your unhappy past.
People on this have given you good advice ... I think the one about making a tentative phone call from someone else's phone is a good idea ... and also, if you do decide to meet, make it on neutral ground, and take someone with you ...
You may find everything goes extremely well, and that you end up with a wonderful new friend ... I do hope so for your sake, and hers.
-
Well thank you all for your helpful replies which in the main advises against jumping in with both feet. These are my sentiments exactly but there is always the curiosity element. I am not so mercenary that I would only contact her if she was useful to me. But I do wish to feel that any effort on my part would be enriched and not fraught with difficulties as I had with the half brother who I might add is now out of my life totally. He is also out of the life of the other half sister. My relationship with that one seemed to reach a natural conclusion when our mutual mother died. There was no falling out, just a drifting and termination of contact. The last contact I had with her was at the time of our mothers' death. I went to the church funeral but did not go to the event afterwards, I have not seen first half sister since and that was about four years ago.
I am still pondering what to do and will keep you informed if there is any progress negative or otherwise.
Thanks again.
Pennine
-
Hi
old Omar Khayaam said that he had listened to doctor and saint and heard great argumnent; just as you have: my advice is follow your gut instinct- what is the worse that can happen? I did and never regretted it - good luck whatever you decide.
Best Wishes
Clock
-
Hi Clock great to meet another Omar fan good advice.
Pennine
-
:o i found my mothers half brothers family, we did not know existed until 6 months ago, as well as another half family noone ever knew existed, it has been a rewarding and interesting experience, no ill feelinigs or ill will just surprise that no one ever knew the other side existed, it is just sad my mother or half brother never spoke of their families and left it too late to get to know each other. i am planning to fly to sa and meet both side of the half families, silly to call them that, but it should be interesting, ::) ;D ;D
-
Hi Jackeroo I wish you everything you hope for and hope it goes really well for you.
Pennine
-
Hello everyone your help would be appreciated.
My original post regarding this situation appeared way back at the beginning of the year. Since then two more sister's and two brother's have rolled up plus information about a sister who died in infancy. I have not been in touch with any of them other than them writing to me.
However, a further step sister wrote to me from Australia and I have emailed her a couple of times. She is unaware of the other contacts.
From thinking I had no relatives alive or very few, I am now inundated with them. As I have said previously I had a very bad experience with those I did contact.
What is the right thing to do? They all seem to want to contact me but how do I work out who is genuine and reliable and who are following in the footsteps of my mother and her son?
Pennine
-
I suspect your situation is unique, and overwhelming. I find it difficult to offer advice.
All I can suggest is, approach them just as people rather than as rellies for now. If they seem decent, great, and you can proceed gradually, as you would with any new friend probably. If not, little lost.
There's always DNA, I suppose, as this is a very complicated situation. That would set your mind at ease as to whether they were genuine rellies, but it would not assure you that they are people you'd want to get to know.
-
Hi Pennine,
Have been reading this thread with interest.
Whatever happened regarding your "sister out of the blue"? Did you eventually make contact and/or meet up?
You mention 2 more sisters and 2 more brothers. You also mention a step-sister in Australia who knows nothing about the others. How did these "new" siblings find you?
Unfortunately, it's hard to give advice because each person's story regarding half-sisters/brothers and step-sisters/brothers is always unique and obviously very different.
I guess it also depends on the fact that none of you really knew about each other until someone started to ask questions? (You mentioned that you thought you were an only child).
From my own experience I found out that my father had 7 more children to another woman. I and my 3 younger brothers were incarcerated in an Orphanage while my father saw fit to have 7 more children and play "happy families".
To cut a long story short, I never acknowledged these children and never will. A lot of water flowed under this bridge to make me feel that way. In short, I resented them.
On the other hand, my mother remarried and had 2 more children who were given up for adoption. I would do anything in the world to find them as there is no resentment at all. Just a loving urge.
My point is - there are two different sets of half-siblings here and I'm only interested in my mother's last 2 children. Why? If I found them, I would be extremely cautious and I would take things slowly. Personally, I would make a few phone calls and only then would I agree to a meeting. You can guage a lot about someone after a few phone calls.
You have to remember that some (not all) siblings harbour resentment and many other feelings, especially when they "think" or "assume" that one sibling had a better life than them, etc. etc.
On the other hand, some siblings are just so excited when they find they have new brothers or sisters. I have heard of many wonderful, positive stories. Let's hope that yours is a wonderful, positive experience.
The only advice I would give you is to make phone contact first - make a number of phone calls before you decide to meet. Hopefully they will also phone you. Remember that it can be quite daunting for both of you.
Don't give them your home address or home phone number until you are certain that you trust their motives. This could take a while. Treat them like acquaintances who have approached YOU. They aren't your friends YET, either. You need to establish that. Maybe a good idea to give them your cell/mobile phone number and see how many times they phone you. You can always get a new cell/mobile phone number if things don't work out.
You also have the option of walking away and not having any further contact and you don't have to justify yourself to anyone.
Good luck Pennine. ;)
Big hugs
CP
-
I think my advice would be as I suggested before ... keep the contacts anonymous (someone else's phone, get a new email name and use only that for contacting them, use a trusted friend as a go-between) until you are certain they are genuine and that you have made the decision to meet.
Remember: it may be just as mind-blowing and scary for the new 'family' as it is for you.
Go slowly, and good luck ! You may reap huge rewards ...
-
hi everyone,
I think you all have detailed this very well so i can't add much except to echo the precaution. Years ago people in very awkward situations made the best choices they could for all sorts of reasons- financially, how they would be seen by society at the time etc. We accept so much more these days.
Some people change some don't- i would take it very slowly . Just because you are half siblings doesn't mean that you will have anything in common with them.
I hope you have some good fortune with this but it sounds like you have a caring husband and have a loving situation already at home.
DJ
-
I too agree with everyone. Take it slow, as if you have just found a 4th cousin. Maybe you will never be comfortable meeting them, but just be comfortable with your choices. Better to err on the side of caution. I wouldn't hold resentment toward one if they had a better life, though. That is not the fault of the sibling. I have a half sibling who certainly got more of my father, emotionally and financially, then I did, and I never harbored any resentment toward him for it. It was my father's fault and not his. Families can be tricky.
Kath
-
Pennine
I agree with all that has been said, treat them as you would any other person who "appears" to have a link to you (or your tree) at first. Once you are able to establish if & how they fit into your tree, then you can decide if you want them in your family. The two can be very different things.
best wishes
dinie
-
Hi Pennine,
Have been reading this thread with interest.
Whatever happened regarding your "sister out of the blue"? Did you eventually make contact and/or meet up?
You mention 2 more sisters and 2 more brothers. You also mention a step-sister in Australia who knows nothing about the others. How did these "new" siblings find you?
Well there by hangs a tale. The first one obviously would have got my address from either her half siblings or when going through her mother's things.
The one in Australia posted a message on a board I am a member of. I only look at it from time to time and I knew immediately that the message was for me unusual names etc. So I got curious, and responded with a bland email saying I may the whereabouts of the person being searched for. Anyway after a few pm's with an obscure email address I realised she was genuine.
However, the other contacts came in a variety of ways. One a letter to an elderly aunt and the other a letter written to my last known address. Just as luck would have it the person who lives there now, knows me and forwarded the letter on to me with out replying. Don't get me wrong I do believe that these people are indeed related to me, no question as I have checked things out. My worry is eperiencing all the upheaval that I had before which to be honest was so disappointing and stressful and I was so hurt by it all. It took me months to get over it all.
Pennine
-
Sorry that quote went a bit awry!(*)
Anyway I think you have all given me some really good advice and I want to thank you all for taking the time to reply.
Thank goodness the world is full of really nice people too.
The one in Australia is coming to England in a few weeks and we have made tentative arrangements to meet for a coffee. My daughter will come with me initially. She doesn't have my address or phone number only the email address and final arrangements will be made by email. She is visiting her son who has a computer so it will be no hardship to contact me.
Keeping my fingers crossed so will keep you informed.
Thanks once again.
Pennine
(*)Moderator Comment: mended :)
-
I think you're doing the right thing, and I'm sure your daughter will have her antennae tuned as well, which will be a support for you, assuming she's old enough! I do hope you enjoy your visit!
-
I so hope your meeting goes well & you find a true friend & relative, who like you , only want answers to questions & nothing material.
My thoughts are with you, take care & strength from all the advice given,& remember your family are not always related as has been shown on this site,
Judi :-*
Good luck
-
At the moment she's just a 'pen-friend' ... but she may well turn out to be so much more ... but I think you are doing the right thing - taking it slowly, step by step. Remember the saying about fools rush in ...
-
I cant think of any better advice to add than that you have already received. You are wise to be cautious , I hope it all turns out well for you.
I am sure we will all be thinking of you. :)
devongirl
-
Good luck with your meeting and keep us posted. We would all go with you if we could, but we'll be there in spirit to offer support. :)
Kath
-
Hi there all, I am reviving this thread as I have now met the relatives from Australia!
And, get this, I have met my step mother who I haven't seen for 47 years! She is now 94 and I didn't even know she was still alive!
The meetings x2 seem to have gone very well. The family obviously adored my dad and loved him very much. Due to family circumstances at the time I remained living with my Grandparents but I did see my dad three or four times a week.
My stepmother gave me some of my dad's possessions which she kept after his death, photos etc and she says she has always wondered where I was and what I was doing.
A very strange thing happened. At the second meeting, she gave me my dad's passport. army service record and his wallet. His army service documents and an I.D. card were in the wallet along with a photo of me and a postage stamp! Along with the photos etc this was a lot for me to take in at the time.
Later when I was at home alone, I went through the things again slowly.
The wallet was Morocan Leather and in pristine condition. I thought the lining was silk. Whilst exploring it I put my hand behind the lining to the bottom of the wallet and touched something. There. nestling down the lining were four crisp green £! notes in consecutive numerical order!
I was so shocked that I telephoned step sister to tell her. She said she had held and looked at the wallet many many times over the years and had never noticed the notes. Step mother went through very hard times after dad's death what would she have given to find four quid? It was a week's wages in 1960! Things do move in mysterious ways!
Pennine
-
hi pennine,how lovely to read the outcome of your meetings
with your long lost rellies.you do sound very pleased with yourself.
I followed this thread when you were uncertain what to do about
the contact you received ,your dads passport wallet etc is a nice bonus too.
regards.anne
-
What a lovely ending to your story!
-
Brought a tear to my eye, it did! :'(
What a lovely ending to the story! I'm so happy for you, pennine!
MarieC
-
Hello Pennine,
How lovely for you , i was very touched by your story and i hope it has healed some past pain for you.
All the very best for your future moments with new family.
DJ
-
Pennine
What good news for you. Hopefully you can now have a good relationship with your new family and move forward.
Best wishes
dinie
-
I am so glad it has turned out so well. And I hope it isn't an ending, but a wonderful new chapter.
Kath
-
Glad your meetings went wel. How kind of your stepmother to give you those mementoes of your Father.
Devongirl
-
Thank you all for your good wishes. Of course I have still to meet two step brothers and then there is the issue of the half sister, ;D ;D ;D.
However I am lots more positive about it all now, having gleaned lots more information about dad and his 'other family'. A big plus for me was the things I have been given, just to know that dad touched these things himself is a lovely feeling.
Thanks again.
Pennine
-
I'm so glad everything worked out for you in the end, and to be given your Dad's belongings is just the icing on the cake. I'm really happy for you.
Barbara 8)
-
Thank you Tephra. :) :)
Pennine
-
As a further addition to this story I thought you might be interested to know this strange happening.
My dad had a serious road traffic accident in Leicester 13th July 1960. He was admitted to hospital at 9.40 P.M. and died some two hours later from injuries that today would probably have been seen to and he would have lived.
The lady who my dad married two years before his death, has told me that their favourite song was from the musical Carousel and is one we all know in the U.K. as the Liverpool Anthem 'You'll Never Walk Alone'. It was special to them.
47 years after my dad's death to the day, my grandaughter, my dad's great grandaughter was in a local concert for three nights. shows over three days. She told me she was singing a solo. I attended the concert on Friday 13th July to support her as it was the first time she had sung a solo.
Imagine my surpise when at twenty to ten my grandaughter took centre stage and sang 'When You Walk Through The Storm Hold your Head Up High' the rest of the company then joined her on stage and invited the audience to sing along. I couldn't I just sat there weeping copious tears.
After the concert the little girl said 'why did you cry Grandma?' And I replied that I found it so lovely and moving. I had no idea she was going to sing this and of course she had no idea that this song was special in anyway.
When I told my dad's wife this story she said that the night he died she had been waiting for him to come home so that they could see her daughter my stepsister appear in a stage version of Carousel.
Now tell me is there something going on here? I find it all so strange!
Pennine
-
It's not strange at all Pennine.
Just listen to the message and say, "Thank you Dad, I love you too."
Sometimes that karma has to reach a long way through time and space to accomplish its goal.
This one made it, and you got it, all the way deep into your heart.
Treasure it.
Blessings,
Granma Anne
-
hi all
Oh My!!! What a fabulous thread.... I am struck by your Dad having a picture of you in his wallet...and the coincidence (or maybe not) of your granddaughter appearing on stage at the exact time that he was admitted to hospital 47 years after ....
I wish you joy with your new rellies!
I understand your anxiety to allow yourself to be vunerable, but I think ALL relationships, no matter who they are with, requires us to take a chance and be open to what they may GIVE us as opposed to what they may TAKE from us!
best wishes
Deb :)
-
Wow! pennine,
I can only echo what Granma Anne said. I too have had a strange experience that convinced me that my Dad was reaching out to me and am sure that what Granma Anne said is right.
You've been on quite a ride lately!
MarieC
-
Wow, shivers. I too think your dad is reaching out. Embrace it. About a week after my dad died suddenly from a fall, I was so sad. I walked the dog very early in the morning and cried up at the stars: I was always told when someone you loved died you could feel them with your and I didn't. That afternoon, coming home from running errands, I got pulled over for speeding (my first ever). The cop took my license back to his car and I looked up and said, "Dad, you're not even here to get me out of this one (he was a lawyer)." the cop came back a few minutes later and told me to slow it down, but never gave me a ticket. I thanked my dad.
My dad used to collect bicentennial quarters. Whenever we received any, we always gave them to my dad. Now that they are over 30 years old and many people collected, there aren't many left in circulation. I myself hadn't seen one in years. In the last couple months, I have gotten 3. I feel it's my dad letting me know he is around, watching over me.
Sorry to ramble on your thread. Now I definitely believe he is around, and every now and then he wants me to know. ;)
Kath
-
(Just as an aside ... Granma Anne's avatar had me trying to flick the fly off my screen, and it then disappeared into the bottom edge of the screen, and I had a shock thinking it had got inside my laptop screen somehow ! Nice one, Granma Anne, you had me fooled !)
-
Absolutely fabulous story since page one on this thread :D
That was a beautiful moment of spiritual synchronisation !
Granma Anne is spot on. Your father knows that you have been involved with your family ancestry, he is still with and loves you and he has given you a wonderful message.
It is a memory to keep forever :)
DJ
-
Definitely a message for you from your Dad, perhaps he felt you needed a boost. Nce to feel he's watching over you.
Daisy :)
-
Thank you everyone for your good wishes. On Saturday just gone. my other half and I drove to Leicestershire to visit the spot where dad died. Relative from Oz and my stepmother came too. We placed a couple of small posies in the grass verge as near to the spot as possible. This was opposite a country pub, from where at the time of the accident customers ran out to help him. We then had a little drink to toast dad's memory. Afterwards we visited with other step sister who is now sadly very ill and unable to travel.
When we told her where we had been she realised that despite not knowing the exact location of dad's accident she had regularly stood in the car park of this pub awaiting the return of her own son who used to be a racing cyclist. At that time all the races finished at this same country inn.
It reminds me somehow of the old Olympic Games Symbol of entwined circles. One thing connects to another but they all end up leading back to dad.
A cynic might say that you can read anything into anything but there has been too many links in my story for it to be a coincidence. For example, relative from Oz posted the search message for me over Two years ago yet that day when I entered the website there it was staring me in the face. Yet I had been on the site a few times in the previous two years and never seen it before. Ozzie relie was absolutely astounded when I responded to the message thinking there was no chance after two years.
The only thing I can think of is that this year dad and step mother would have been together 50 years if he had still been alive. She was a good ten years older than dad and it was assumed that she would die first. If he hadn't gone on that fateful journey what a long lovely life they could have had together.
Pennine
-
Pennine
wow .... although you have been through a lot of turmoil.... I think your life 'has come full circle' ..... best wishes to you and your family
Take care
God bless
Deb :)
-
Pennine
What a fabulous outcome, considering your initial reservations.
I'm sure your Dad can rest easy now knowing his family is reunited.
I hope you can now move forward with your life and have many happy years' with your new relatives.
Best wishes
dinie