RootsChat.Com
Family History Documents and Artefacts => Graveyards and Gravestones => Topic started by: sallysmum on Friday 22 December 06 18:17 GMT (UK)
-
Just taken my first foray into exploring a grave yard where I found gt gt grandparent's grave. There were no paths between the graves and I found myself walking over them - something of which I was uneasy as I felt a little disrespectful which made me think, what etiquette should be observed whilst wandering around graveyards?
Many thanks
Sallysmum
-
Oh Sallysmum...what a good question. I frequently go to the Old cemetery on Southampton Common, it's like a jungle in parts & you can't help but step on graves at times.,... I usually say 'excuse me' or 'I'm really sorry, just trying to reach my Gt Gt Grandmother' or something like that... & then apologise again on the way back.
Debbie
-
I really don't think there is one. one of the Churches near me has grave stones as the pathway so you have no choice but to walk over them. I don't think it's disrespectful but i do think it's a shame that this helps to wear away the inscriptions on the stone.
-
I'm a member of a group from our local Fam Hist Society who are logging all the graves in our local cemetery. Some are hidden or overgrown and we have to clear them to read the inscriptions.
We all say something like " sorry Edna" or " hope you don't mind" if we have to stand or kneel on the graves. Just makes us feel easier somehow!
Nanny Jan
-
Sallysmum, as long as you feel that you are being respectful, as I'm sure you are I don't think you should let it worry you too much.
You should see the cemetery where some of my husbands relatives are buried :( >:( . The graves are packed in like sardines in a tin, unbelievable.
When we buried his father back in the 1980's some of us had to stand on the neighbouring graves at the interment it was dreadful.
Suey
-
Several years ago, Mr Alice and I went to Westminster Abbey and I felt a little creepy walking on those gravestones in the Abbey. However, I don't think that those people who are interred would mind as we were only 2 of thousands who have walked on their graves.
I think, for myself, I would rather someone walk over me than be left in an overgrown patch where no one ever goes!
-
I believe the correct etiquette whilst crossing graves that do not belong to family members is to hop, whiilst holding a bible under the left arm and sing the National Anthem. Remember that and you'll do just fine.
-
Ah but Nick, whose national anthem?????
Seriously, thanks to all who have replied with their experiences and conduct. I shall go into my next graveyard with a clear conscience (and a bible, Nick!)
Kind regards
Sallysmum
-
Sallysmum, I have a confession to make. My 4 yr old daughter and I walk through a church yard every morning to school. I allow her to skip and jump across the very old flat grave stones, she sings and chats to herself along the way. She says 'good morning' to the elderly couple that feed the birds every morning but she never touches any of the flowers that are placed on the newer graves.
She then picks up all the poppy wreaths that have been blown away and places them carefully on the war memorial (she says that is her morning job)
I don't feel that we are being disrespectful, if there are any spirits there, I'm sure they look forward to Alex coming in the morning to brighten up their day :)
There are a couple of people who come to pay their respects on a regular basis and know Alex by name and have a chat to her as we pass through :) 8)
-
I don't feel that we are being disrespectful, if there are any spirits there, I'm sure they look forward to Alex coming in the morning to brighten up their day
I agree with you Wheeldon I am sure the spirits are uplifted by your daughter's presence. She sounds so sweet.
I occasionally walk through a graveyard and the path are the gravestones, but I always read them and reflect on the circumstances of their passing as some of them died very young.
Christina
-
As my husband and I are both interested in local and family history we often go to graveyards. When our 3 children were younger they were taken along. Actually middle child's first buggy ride was from our house to parish church when she was about ten days old and when little she used to line up her toy dominos in rows and called it playing graveyard. To stop the children from running about, getting bored, etc. I used to bring each a jar of bubble water so they could spend the time there blowing bubbles. When they got a bit older they liked to help find names we were looking for and reading inscriptions.
-
Several of my family are buried in a local lawn cemetery. Lovely and peaceful place, with little plaques set level to the ground. You really have to walk over graves here, but I always have the feeling that the people don't mind and are happy that the living are visiting. I am always mindful of those who lie below as I walk across the lawn.
MarieC
-
Hi
I am glad its not just me who feels awkward about standing on memorials etc, I always try and walk round them, sometimes this is not possible, so I always apologize to the 'grave'.
I also take my boys with me to search for names and always tell them to be respectful, walk round etc if possible, my youngest son Bill, likes to pick up the flowers and place them back where they belong.
I always think its nice to see people in a graveyard, at least they care.
Merry Christmas
Jane :)
-
I always think its nice to see people in a graveyard, at least they care.
Absolutely. On a recent "field trip" I came across a graveyard where half of it was completely overgrown - probably all over my ancestors. No chance of walking over anyone's grave - two to three feet above, yes, but not on the gravestones.
But the previous day I'd been elsewhere and the graveyard was tidy, with many graves with flowers.
JULIAN
-
Absolutely. On a recent "field trip" I came across a graveyard where half of it was completely overgrown - probably all over my ancestors. No chance of walking over anyone's grave - two to three feet above, yes, but not on the gravestones.
JULIAN
Sad, isn't it Julian...the old cemetery in Southampton, on the Common, is huge. Many of the early graves were moved from St. Marys that was literaaly overflowing in the mid 1800's. I can't get near my Greats either, unless as you say, I was able to hover above them. Southampton City Council has taken the policy to allow nature & the wildlife to take over half the cemetery. Ok, lovely butterflies & the odd squirrel, but there's also hundreds of rats running here & there. Then there's needles etc left by ?people of the night I assume. Other parts are tended, it's just such a shame to see some of it has been left to rot & be exposed to vandalism too.
Sorry, rant over ;)
Merry Christmas,
Debbie
-
I find it amazing that some cemeteries are "kept up" while others have just been left to the elements.
As to walking through or over other gravesites I say "sorry" or " I apologize if/ when I happen to step on another gravesite. I try to bne as respectful as I can.
yn9man
-
It doesn't seem right to step on someone's grave. Our parish church is kept tidy but trees keep encroaching from the hedges. Dad's grave keeps sprouting suckers which get worse the more I cut them. I think they will need some brushwood killer as a last resort.
Gt-gran and gt-grandad are "2 doors down" in one of those square jobs with an angel monument and kerbstones to keep the stone chips in place. The angel has lost her hand and I once got caught on my hands and knees rummaging round in the chippings trying to find the missing part. I was going to explain- "It's my great grandad's- I'm looking for the hand" but I thought the better of it luckily :-[ ;)
fred
-
Absolutely. On a recent "field trip" I came across a graveyard where half of it was completely overgrown - probably all over my ancestors. No chance of walking over anyone's grave - two to three feet above, yes, but not on the gravestones.
JULIAN
Sad, isn't it Julian...the old cemetery in Southampton, on the Common, is huge. Many of the early graves were moved from St. Marys that was literaaly overflowing in the mid 1800's. I can't get near my Greats either, unless as you say, I was able to hover above them. Southampton City Council has taken the policy to allow nature & the wildlife to take over half the cemetery. Ok, lovely butterflies & the odd squirrel, but there's also hundreds of rats running here & there. Then there's needles etc left by ?people of the night I assume. Other parts are tended, it's just such a shame to see some of it has been left to rot & be exposed to vandalism too.
Sorry, rant over ;)
Merry Christmas,
Debbie
My grandparents are in a city cemetery and I remember as a child my father telling me they paid the council a lump sum to look after it - having a senior moment but I thought it was for posterity although I may be wrong.
Yuletide Greetings,
Rena
-
My maternal grandparents paid a nice sum to a cemetery for "continued maintenance, care and upkeep contract" on the family plot. Whenever I visit I take a copy of the contract along since care is usually needed.
I also don't understand cemetery vandalism. Why would someone want or need to desecrate a gravesite? Most of the cemeteries I visit appear or have this type of problem.
yn9man
-
Times have changed so much haven't they? 1970's I had to stop a very large gang of older teenagers from racing around & larking in a graveyard & it's gone from bad to worse everywhere since then hasn't it? I've seen on the web the old Calton (Glasgow) cemetery scarcely has an unbroken headstone attributed to yobs. Visited a cemetery in Hull this year & read a notice by the council that any loose headstones will be taken down & laid flat - they're the ones who signed the 'we will care for ' contract I already mentioned.
Rena
-
My 7 year old loves our graveyard visits and it is the only place he will walk not run.
I was more surprised to see the elderly gent cycle across the graves last weekend...even Matthew said he was a very rude man....mummy muttered something much worse I am afraid.
Tazzie
-
Well done Matthew! You must be proud of him Tazzie.
Nanny Jan
-
Very ...nanny jan.
He loves telling people about his family tree and the places they lived, he will know them off by heart soon.
Tazzie
-
When looking for a Gt Uncle ( who died aged 9 months), there was a lot of "sorry", "excuse me" said. I just wish someone could have answered me ;)
I eventually found him in an unmarked grave, where he is apparently buried with 3 other children around the same age as him. It did feel good to find and at least I can now go and place some flowers there. :)
-
I eventually found him in an unmarked grave, where he is apparently buried with 3 other children around the same age as him. It did feel good to find and at least I can now go and place some flowers there. :)
I wonder if those looking after graveyards are surprised by flowers appearing on long-forgotten graves.
-
I always feel very uneasy when walking through a graveyard where there is no clear path between the graves. Both my son and I try where ever we can to walk around even the slightest bump in the ground. Unfortunately some times it isn't possible to miss them all, but I think if one has respect, any lingering souls will understand.
-
I also find myself apologizing for standing on the stones. Hopefully I am forgiven
Carol
-
I wonder if those looking after graveyards are surprised by flowers appearing on long-forgotten graves.
I placed flowers on my gg grandparents unmarked graves several years ago. However, some cemeteries here in the US no longer allow real flowers or plants to be placed on graves. Only plastic flowers and only on the grave for a limited amount of time. A real shame and yes these decision makers are the same ones who agreed to take care of the graves.
Along with the poor condition of some gravesites in some cemeteries the "older" graves are now so close together it is very difficult (if not impossible) not to step on another grave.
yn9man
-
Just to stray from the original question, but I remember reading recently that a churchyard (London I think) was cleared of all its headstones and that some of these stones ended being used for the fictional graveyard in the TV soap Emmerdale. Personally, I think this is really disrespectful and was so horrified when I read about it.
Jayson
-
That's really the ultimate in disrespect, Jayson. It IS horrifying!! If my ancestors were thus disrespected I'd be furious!! As I haven't yet found where they were buried, it is possible that they were!! >:( >:( :( :( :( :'( :'(
MarieC
-
I too am a little uncomfortable walking on graves, but sometimes it is unavoidable. Wheeldon, I think your 4-year-old daughter's behavior in the graveyard is wonderful. My kids go with me also, and my 5-year-old daughter is fascinated by the artwork on some of the stones.
A Jewish tradition is to place a small stone on the edge of the gravestone, to mark that you have been to visit. I do that now with every grave I visit. This past summer a couple brothers, my kids and I were looking for family graves in northern New York. We found a bunch, and for one branch of the family, there were fresh flowers at the grave. I told my brothers we should stick a note in among the flowers, to contact that branch. We didn't but I still think we should have.
One of my brothers leaves bicentennial quarters (1976 for us over here) at my dad's grave, as my dad collected them. One time he did it and my nephew thought he was just leaving money for Grandpa, so he wanted to. Jim gave him a penny to put with the quarter.
yn9man, I've never heard of a cemetery not allowing real flowers and only plastic. Any cemetery I have been to visit here in the US asks that no plastic flowers or containers of any kind be place, but flowers can be planted or layed across the graves.
I will end my long-winded post now. :-X
Kath
-
Kath- my aunt and uncle are buried in a cemetery in Connecticut and only flat markers (think have to be a certain size) allowed, so the lawnmower can just cut without going around the graves. A few years after my aunt had died her daughter and I went to find the grave- and it seemed to take forever even though we had an idea of where to look!
-
The 'rule' here in Wales is no glass jars (sensible really, as the man who strims the grass could be injured if his strimmer hit one) ... but also seems to be no 'gardening' ... I can understand the graveyards dont want indiscriminate planting of trees here there and everywhere, but not to allow discrete annual plants such as pansies, marigolds, petunias, etc seems daft to me. They die in the winter, and get strimmed off with the grass anyway. I think one is allowed to plant bulbs ... I did it without asking on my mothers grave ... and to see the snowdrops, short daffodils, cyclamen, crocuses, etc every year, is wonderful.
I didnt get to 'clip' and tidy her grave for a few months one summer, and when I went to do it, it was covered by a tall growth of those lovely big wild dog-daisies ... just beautiful. I whispered to her that she had always talked of pushing up the daisies one day, and now she was doing just that !
-
I'm hoping one day to visit the graves of my great grandparents in Padiham Cemetery, and leave some flowers with a note saying "love from Teddy's grandchildren". We never knew our grandfather, and I wish so much we had been able to meet him. He served with distinction with the 2nd Battalion, the Parachute Regiment, and I'm so proud of him. :'(
-
Whenever I wander round Brighton cemetery, I try not to step on anything which could be a grave, but there are parts where the danger of broken ankles far outweighs the danger of offending any "spirits". In these areas, I try to only step on the stones round the very edges of the graves, just to be on the safe side. But I do often mutter a silent "sorry".
Anyway, what self respecting spirit would still be lying in his or her coffin after all these years? If I was one of the mortally-challenged in there, I'd be up and about or just sitting around in the sunshine enjoying the tranquility and chatting to old mates who "live" nearby. And I'd be laughing at all those living souls trying their hardest not to step on my bed...
Glen
-
Clint got it right ;D ;D ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdNh9f2Wwm0
Pete :)
-
Interestingly my mother, my teenage kids and I went back to Wales for Mother's 80th in early April. We visited my grandmother (and grandfather, great grandparents as well)'s grave and she (my grandmother) had INSISTED that it be laid flat. The cemetry is St Augustine's in Penarth, on the top of a hill overlooking Cardiff bay. Wonderful location but very windy. She was worried that the stone would be blown over. So some stones are flat by design.
-
Almost all my ancestors were far too poor to have gravestones, so I was really surprised at my own reaction when I found my gg grandfather's gravestone propped up against a wall in an obviously cleared cemetery in rural Wiltshire. No sign of where the grave originally was and no sign of his wife's stone either.
I was incredibly upset! I know it can't possibly matter to them now, but it seemed hugely crass to me....
Angela
-
Pete ... dont leave it there ! What was the guy looking for ? What did he find ?
I'm left in suspense here ...
-
Not telling. ;D ;D ;D ;D
Pete :)
-
Please ??? :-* :-* :-* :-*
-
My daughter and I visited a graveyard last weekend and sadly we had to walk acros a couple of graves as ther was no path so we kept to the edges where possible and as we crossed she whisper shouted "God bless you, sorry to disturb you" awwwwwwwwwwww felt quite tearful that she understood what we we doing
-
Angela,
What did you do? Did you talk to the cemetery officials? I think I would have been so angry, I would have taken the stone with me. Then what, I have no idea ::).
Kath
-
When I first took up family history many years ago, I set off by train and tube to Bethnal Green in the hope of finding some graves of some of my ancestors. I knew one of the churches where they'd married so as it was Sunday morning I headed there, arriving while the congregation were having a post-service cuppa. The vicar was standing on the church steps smoking a cigarette and rocking back and forth on his heels. He was less than delighted to hear my explanation for my visit and my request for the location of the burial ground, and casually informed me "Oh, we've levelled it to make a play area for the children." :o I almost passed out on the spot. I didn't know whether to laugh or burst into tears. He chivvied me inside and handed me over to a lady called, if I remember rightly, Betty, who was doing the teas but was the resident local history expert. I was given or sold a booklet about the history of the church and sent on my way. I had the feeling that I was an unwelcome nuisance to the vicar, although not to Betty who did her best to help.
-
What really annoys me is the practice of taking the gravestones down (especially when it is being done to build a car park or something) and using them to make footpaths with. I know you are not walking on people's graves but it still doesn't seem right. It would be much nicer to put them around the edges - maybe fixed into a wall or something more fitting surely.
>:(
-
They should certainly be photographed and the images safely stored in a central database somewhere.
I wonder if there's a clever way of photographing stones that have worn, that could reveal the inscription? A sort of x-ray?
-
Good point. They could make it part of the agreement when they give them planning permission that they at least do that. Like when they find archealogical relics and have to record it all before continuing.
-
I agree. Just wiping out gravestones is criminal, in my view!! >:( >:(
MarieC
-
Yes indeed, putting aside the respect to the dead side of the matter, graveyards and gravestones are a part of this country and its history. The monuments to the ordinary people are as important as the ones to the rich and famous.
-
I sent a request to someone who I found on a website listed on Rootschat, asking if he would be able to photograph the grave of my grandad in a cemetery in Aberdeen. He suggested I contacted Aberdeen council asking for the "lair" number. It took the council about 2 days to reply with the details and asking for my address so that they could send me a detailed map of the relevant cemetery. They sent me the maps within another couple of days and all at no charge. So well done Aberdeen.
Once I had the info, the man I had contacted in Aberdeen very kindly visited the cemetary. Unfortunately, there was no headstone (I hadn't expected there to be one), but I received beautiful photographs of the grave area. When I e-mailed my thanks, I commented on the good state of the cemetery, I received an e-mail back that said,
Despite Allenvale being close to the city centre it is a well-maintained and quiet place. There are full-time gardeners there and it always looks in splendid condition. .
So at least some councils are happy to care for their cemeteries.
I am going to e-mail the person who took the photographs to see if he is happy for me to post one on here to show you all, what a well cared for cemetery should look like.
Liz
-
I've now had a reply from Colin Milne the person who kindly took the photos for me and he is happy for me to post them on here. His website if anyone else is interested is: (e-mail address posted in error now removed)
The photo shows the grassy site of my grandfather's grave, no gravestone though, at Allenvale Cemetery, Aberdeen. It just goes to show that a cemetery can be well looked after.
Liz
-
Yes they do seem to look after it very well.
There appear to be some stones in the middle of the path .... have they been moved there for some reason do you know? (eg if they fell over or had to be moved from original site?).
Just thinking if they can relocate fallen stones.. then other cemeteries can do it too...not just dump them like they do up in Philip's Park, Manchester's where many of my ancestors are.
-
Millymcb kindly sent me a pm to say I had quoted an e-mail address instead of the website.
The website is:
http://myweb.tiscali.co.uk/nescotland/
Please don't all e-mail Colin, unless you want him to do something for you.
Liz
-
Milly
I don't know why the stones are placed as they are. It just looked to me as though they had all been moved to the edges of the paths, so that it was easier to mow the grass. I will e-mail Colin and ask him, he is bound to know.
I do know that there is no stone for my grandad but at least his piece of grass is nicely kept.
Liz
-
It's great they went to the trouble...and they have placed them nicely too. :)
-
Milly
I've sent an e-mail to Colin to ask his opinion. To give you a better idea, I attach another photo taken from a slightly different angle.
Liz
-
Philip's Park, Manchester's where many of my ancestors are.
Quite a few of mine are in St Andrew's Churchyard, Higher Blackley. I think some of the churchyards have also disappeared under housing, but not sure if this is one of them or not.
Liz
-
Oh Sallysmum...what a good question. I frequently go to the Old cemetery on Southampton Common, it's like a jungle in parts & you can't help but step on graves at times.,... I usually say 'excuse me' or 'I'm really sorry, just trying to reach my Gt Gt Grandmother' or something like that... & then apologise again on the way back.
Debbie
I'd say that's the proper thing to do, Debbie.
I'm sure if those souls are watching you they'll understand precisely what you mean.
Chris
-
I believe the correct etiquette whilst crossing graves that do not belong to family members is to hop, whiilst holding a bible under the left arm and sing the National Anthem. Remember that and you'll do just fine.
Sorry, I didn't mean to post another message. I was going to quote in the previous one.
Nick, would the 23rd Psalm not be better than the National Anthem ???
-
Without wishing to go into deep theological reasons why, I don't think it matters if you step on a grave (as long as you don't damage flowers or anything that may be on it ?) The person who once was, isn't there any more ... just their 'wrappings' so to speak ?
I think all graveyards and cemeteries should be treated with respect, but only for the sake of the living ... just as one should respect other peoples houses, cars, children, etc.
Maintaining country church yards is a bit different ... they are so often havens for wild flowers, birds, insects ... then mowing them and keeping them as tidy as town cemeteries can amount to destroying useful habitats for wildlife ... our local one is well maintained, but not until the wild daffodils, cowslips, cranesbills, orchids, yellow rattle, etc. have all set seed.
-
Maintaining country church yards is a bit different ... they are so often havens for wild flowers, birds, insects ... then mowing them and keeping them as tidy as town cemeteries can amount to destroying useful habitats for wildlife ... our local one is well maintained, but not until the wild daffodils, cowslips, cranesbills, orchids, yellow rattle, etc. have all set seed.
That must be beautiful. I do agree. I think a natural landscape is beautiful and doesn't necessarily translate to a poorly maintained cemetery. I know I'd rather be placed in a cemetery like that than a well-groomed one.
Kath
-
This is what Manchester City Council think of your ancestors "Absolutley Nothing" its all money,money,money and zero respect
Dig-em-up or leave in disrepair.
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hx/
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hy/
I was in Cheetham Hill this morning the rest of the old shopping centre is now down so it will only be a short time before we have a new car park in place of the cemetery.
When I pop my socks - kick the buckets - shuffle off this mortal coil I am going up in a puff of smoke and being thrown to the wind.
At least they could never dig me up.
Regards
Ken
-
I'm going for a green burial; I'm hoping they'll let my brothers/husband/family/friends plant snowdrops, bluebells etc on my grave but apparently there are strict rules about that sort of thing . . .
-
This is what Manchester City Council think of your ancestors "Absolutley Nothing" its all money,money,money and zero respect
Dig-em-up or leave in disrepair.
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hx/
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hy/
Regards
Ken
There's another story here about Cheetham Hill
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hz/
Apparently it was still in use up to 1970s so it's not even as if there were no living relatives.
A lot of my ancestors are buried in Philip's Park Cemetery in Manchester which is being allowed to run into disrepair. Call me cynical but I wonder if this has anything to do with it's location - a stones throw from the proposed super casino site?
:(
-
millymcb
My dad lived on Crescent road one street over from the cemetery, and I do remember him telling me one of his aunts is/was buried in it.
Phillips Park - dont get me going on that one. I go there at least twice a month grave hunting for rootchatters, also reles on the wifes side buried there.
When I go through the gate I just say to myself Morning/Afternoon folks its me again - they all understand now what I am doing in the place.
The place is a disgrace, the area around the cemetery is under massive redevelopment, new houses, sports city, ex casino.
OK it old and closed to new burials but it could be turned into a place of peace and tranquillty without destroying the remaining headstones.
The chapel could be a small local museum - the outer buildings could be offices - the so called dangerous headstones should be placed face up on a grave.
If they want someone to look after the place I would be the first to put my hand up.
Ken
-
Hi Kenhar...
I expect the cemetery is a bit of a thorn in the side of the developers and they probably have it in their sights.
-
If you hear anyone in the grave complain - start worrying!
-
I went for my first grave yard wander today......looking for a relative, my Dad's brother who was buried in 1952, a victim of the Harrow train crash.
I drove in through the gates and followed the road to the red gravelly section that had arrowed parking signs implanted at measured points throughout the lane/road/highway to heaven. Leaving the car and looking at the grave stones I thought this would be easy, couple of hundred grave stones, couple of days work walking round till I found my relative......then I looked round behind me......there was hundreds of them. I realised then that it wasn't going to be easy.........so I gave up looking and just went for a wander.
To think that every one of them was alive just like you and me ....they had good days and bad days...likes and dislikes....fantastic lifes and if we delve a little deeper, hard hard lifes.
I thought, right John (the guy I was looking for).....I'll clear my mind and you like the Olympic Flame will no doubt lead me in some pyschic way in the general direction to your last place of abode. Of I went in search ......the weird feeling I kept having was.............sometimes in films you see the dead hanging about their graves.....well, every so often, I had to keep looking behind me just incase someone was creeping up.........turned out that John's grave was way behind me and I mean way :)
I like grave yards......but they are scary :)
-
Welcome to RootsChat Jim.
You were indeed lucky to find the grave you sought.
If its a public cemetery, as opposed to one connected to a local church, then there may be an office attached to it, or the council offices ... which might have ... indeed SHOULD HAVE records and maps of who is buried where.
If its a church graveyard, then the local vicar will have records of who is buried where.
-
Im always very careful walking through graveyards, as Ive always thought it disrespectful walking on someones final resting place,
I used to think as a (strange ) teenager that I wouldnt walk into the persons house without being invited
and walking on the grave is walking onto their home without invitation,
-
Does anyone know whats happening with Lambeth cemetary in tooting , a lot of it is fenced off, and it has a very strange atmosphere there nowadays
-
This is what Manchester City Council think of your ancestors "Absolutley Nothing" its all money,money,money and zero respect
Dig-em-up or leave in disrepair.
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hx/
http://www.rootschat.com/links/01hy/
I was in Cheetham Hill this morning the rest of the old shopping centre is now down so it will only be a short time before we have a new car park in place of the cemetery.
When I pop my socks - kick the buckets - shuffle off this mortal coil I am going up in a puff of smoke and being thrown to the wind.
At least they could never dig me up.
Regards
Ken
I am 'missing' several family members due to Manchester Council.
Mums family were in the Weslyan, now under the shopping centre (does anyone know WHICH bury cemetery the reburial was in by the way?)
Dads family were in Orford Rd Cemetery off Briscoe lane ........ now a playing field!
n Dads gt-grandparents Headstone was removed as 'unsafe' in Phillips park - dipite the fact it had stood safely for about 100 years!
With regard to Cemetery Etiquette - I personaly walk as close as I can to the back of the headstones whenever I can, and if I HAVE to walk across a grave then I make sure i read the info on it, just so I feel I am showing some respect by paying attention to WHERE I am walking - n believe it or not I found a relative because I did this!
Gaille
-
Its terrible when gravestones get removed. We are about to pay for a plaque for OH's gr grandparents as they are in an unmarked grave. That is here in Australia and our cemeteries are very well looked after so we dont have a problem doing this.
But who owns the stones and memorials that the family of the dead person has purchased for his/her grave.
Could the councils who remove them be "stealing" them??????????????
-
A lot of my ancestors are buried in Philip's Park Cemetery in Manchester which is being allowed to run into disrepair. Call me cynical but I wonder if this has anything to do with it's location - a stones throw from the proposed super casino site?
Lots of mine are there too.
Lizzie
-
My son is a fire performer and recently had to do his act in a churchyard where all the stones had been removed and the graves grassed over... I wonder what the "residents" would have thought???
See the Dickensian Evening pictures here:
http://www.weddingstationery.uk.net/poiromania/pages/gallery.html
It has to be said that if a grave looks cared for, it is normally easy to avoid. I make a point of tidying up and leaving flowers when I find a marked ancestor "asleep".
-
But who owns the stones and memorials that the family of the dead person has purchased for his/her grave.
Could the councils who remove them be "stealing" them??????????????
I'm not sure if this is universal, but I enquired about ownership of some of my ancestors' graves in Mitcham Road Cemetery, Croydon.
If the cemetery authorities find they cannot trace the owner of the plot, then they will consider recycling the plot. For example the owner of the plot which holds my great grandparents is my great grandmother (who was buried subsequently with my great grandfather). Similarly my grandparents' plot is owned by my grandfather - my grandmother predeceased him.
There's no way they could trace a living relative from the information held in either of these cases.
Anyone can apply to take ownership of a plot - but you would need to demonstrate that you have a legitimate claim and support from others who might have a similar claim. In the case of Croydon, it is £25 plus the cost of a solicitors' oath, per plot.
JULIAN
-
But who owns the stones and memorials that the family of the dead person has purchased for his/her grave.
Could the councils who remove them be "stealing" them??????????????
I'm not sure if this is universal, but I enquired about ownership of some of my ancestors' graves in Mitcham Road Cemetery, Croydon.
If the cemetery authorities find they cannot trace the owner of the plot, then they will consider recycling the plot. For example the owner of the plot which holds my great grandparents is my great grandmother (who was buried subsequently with my great grandfather). Similarly my grandparents' plot is owned by my grandfather - my grandmother predeceased him.
There's no way they could trace a living relative from the information held in either of these cases.
Anyone can apply to take ownership of a plot - but you would need to demonstrate that you have a legitimate claim and support from others who might have a similar claim. In the case of Croydon, it is £25 plus the cost of a solicitors' oath, per plot.
JULIAN
Mums just "taken over" the ownership of her parents grave when my Nana died (3 years ago tomorrow :( )
We only asked in passing if it was possible while we were arranging some other stuff in the cemetery office, as we didnt know if they had an address since my nana died & she had bought the plot.
It was actually fairly wasy to do, I had the original paperwork for the plot in nanas papers stating she had bought the plot & when, and mum had her death cert as the reason we were in the office had to do with nanas death
The only problem we had was that she had to prove that she was her parents ONLY child & no one else had a claim on the grave .......... lol proving a negative wasnt easy to do, but thankfully I had a paper clipping from mum n dads wedding stating "only daughter of xx & xx" and thankfully they were happy to accept this due to the date on the clipping being "historic" i.e. not a recent clipping (it was from 1964)
They didnt charge for it, and updated the database info then & there while we were in the office - and I was glad they did, cos the address they had on the database was the address my grandad lived at when he died in 1977 - and nana moved 4 times after that!!!!!
It only took us 2 visits to the office to do it - one when we asked the question, n the other to take the paperwork.
I would suggest anyone wanting to "take over" ownership of a family grave asks the cemetery office if its possible & whats involved, you may be surprised how easy it is in some areas!
Gaille
-
Just taken my first foray into exploring a grave yard where I found gt gt grandparent's grave. There were no paths between the graves and I found myself walking over them - something of which I was uneasy as I felt a little disrespectful which made me think, what etiquette should be observed whilst wandering around graveyards?
Many thanks
Sallysmum
As long as you're not "charging" about on graves then i don't see it as disrespectful - i work in a Cemetery and have to walk across graves all the time whilst carrying out my various duties ....including grasscutting
-
hi Diggerman,i've noticed in our local churchyard the council have brought in tons of soil and levelled up a lot of the graves and grassed them over so they can cut it easier.This must be because many graves are not maintained and they are trying to tidy it up.
Steve
-
If the graves are uneven , then it should make them a lot safer to visit too.
-
Hi, not sure if you have already seen the list of names at Christ Church St Albans Road Watford Herts.