RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => Topic started by: doric on Wednesday 15 November 06 23:33 GMT (UK)
-
I have recently been contacted re any information I might have on one of my ancestors. This request has been made on behalf of another person who I am told shares my family line. I get the gut feeling that this approach has been made by a professional researcher, who will obviously be charging for his services, therefore I am feeling rather reluctant to pass on information that I have worked so hard to obtain. This attitude is going against my better nature as I always feel I want to help other researchers whenever I can. How do other Rootschatters feel about this and what would they do?
-
I'd go back and ask for the request to come from the person who shares the family line, not an intermediary.
Not least you can point to issues around identity theft which make you nervous.
Good luck
JULIAN
-
Thanks for that Julian
much appreciated
Doric
-
I'm with Julian on this one Doric, it seems strange coming through a third person. Perhaps you could ask who the information is for and then you could make your mind up which way you want to go.
Barbara
-
It all depends on how much information YOU think YOU will get out of the transaction. If none, then you would be quite justified in writing back and saying "I am willing to share information with bone fide members of my family, but would need to be 100% certain that the person to whom I am passing information is related to me". If you stand to gain information from the transaction, try to establish exactly what information comes with the action of passing on details from your tree.
I am still a little irked that details of my children appeared on Genes Reunited in the tree of someone I have never heard of. Apparently they copied the tree of one of my 6th cousins verbatim - he at least had the sense not to display the names of the living. So I concur with you taking a cautious approach.
-
I agree with all the above. Be cautious. It's one thing to share info with actual family members doing research, but I would be angry to know that I paid someone to do research and all they did was a Google search and an email to someone. Try to get to the relative.
Kath
-
Doric, did they explain why the other person hasn't contacted you directly? There may be a genuine reason. For expample, I recently contacted someone on GR, on behalf of a fellow Rcer who hasn't subscribed, although I did explain this and provide the persons E-Mail address.
However, I agree to act with caution but I would investigate a little further.
You never know it might be genuine and they might have photos of long lost GG Grandad ??? :)
-
doric -
Caution, caution, caution ...
I would be very wary of a "third party" contact asking for "family" information. I would definitely want to know why the "family member"or "relative" didn't make the original request. At the minimum, I would want to at least correspond (or attempt to correspond) with the "relative" prior to providing information to the third party.
However, the family member or relative may have a legitimate reason for not contacting you directly and should share that information with you.
Gut feelings are usually "right on". ;D ;D
yn9man
-
Yes i agree ,
Go with your gut feeling alway's trust your instinct's , i have had a recent situation and went again my gut feeling , now i just feel so annoyed with myself i spent year's gathering information and certificate's and was thrilled to be contacted by someone who i could share all the little detail's with or so i though ! i sent everything i had gatherd over the years and even sent photo's copy's of all bmd's i'd obtained only to find this person never said so much as a Thank You and is currently displaying all the info as their own work needless to say i have never heard from this person since .
The sad fact is there are those of use that enjoy doing our research and are thrilled when we think we have made contact with a reli! and look folward to exchanging what we have discovered only to be taken in , so my thought's are definatly air on the side of caution .
gah
-
I would be cautious too.
Like gah I too have shared information,photo's and certificates............and I too didn't get a thank you. :'(
It could work to your advantage though, if you ask the person contacting you to "show their hand" and let you see what information they have already on the family. ;D
I have contacted people too for a third party..........but only for members of my family or close friends.
One site I watch regularly has obvious "professional researchers" being paid to research but making out they are researching their own tree.
By nature, as people researching our family trees, we love to share,sadly there are people who will take advantage of that.............how many times have you got excited when a distant rellie contacts you?...........these people know that.
I'm a great believer in "gut instinct"......it never fails!! ;)
Sue
-
Again thank you all for your interest and guidance - I have followed the advice that the majority of you have suggested and erred on the side of caution. I am sticking to my gut instinct for now, but have suggested to the third party that it would be better for the family member concerned to make direct contact with me first to clarify the situation, before I send anything on.
When I was first contacted, I was told that this person was researching on behalf of a friend, I didn't think anything of it at the time, but on checking the email address it certainly put doubts into my mind, as it suggested to me that it may well be linked to a business, (possibly a professional researcher) and that's what I am not too happy about, especially if they use some of my material for their gain.
Anyway, again thanks to you all for your help, it is very much appreciated.
Doric
-
Doric
Good luck.
As you can tell from the response to your original post (and from other threads eg on Ancestry and Genes Reunited) this is a bit of hot topic, and I'm sure we'd want to know how you get on in handling all this.
JULIAN
-
Well now I'm wondering if I've 'been had'. I got a message asking for information on someone who is my ancestor and asking for access to my tree. I wrote a short reply confirming the link and asked for access to theirs, to which I got this:
I''m sorry but I don''t have the tree on the site. I am doing it for a friend ****** and I don''t believe that I can have two trees.
Then followed a few ancestor details.
******** **********(1918) was ******s grandfather
However, I know ******would be thrilled to learn more.
I would be grateful for access to your tree.
The details he had given me checked out and I gave him access to my tree and said I would be grateful for any information he had. I haven't heard anything since but it's only a couple of days ago. Maybe I should have followed my first instincts and carried on being cagey!
If anyone recognises their message, shout up! ;)
-
Hi
Concerning 'third party' inquiries
From what has been said thus far I cannot agree more about acting on the side of caution
Preferable to deal direct with the alleged 'relative' AND ask some questions first
I my self will take such caution on board
Thank you
-
Well folks,
My request for advice re information to a 'third party' certainly has stirred up a 'hornets nest'. I never expected that level of response but would suggest that now that we have become aware of how common this problem is becoming, would it not be possible for RC or GR to officially discourage members from dealing with third parties on their sites.
Julian, I will certainly post an update as to how things progress.
Again many thanks to you all.
Doric
-
I think the Golden Rule applies here.
This is not the sort of enquiry that "we" would make, so no reason to accept it from some unknown.
If I was looking to make contact and get info from someone who never had heard of me before, I would follow the procedures outlined in various articles and books, which generally advise one not to alarm the recipient, and to send them hard data which prove who the inquirer is and what the connection is. The burden of proof is on the person who initiates the query.
-
However......
I had a 'third party enquiry' - someone looking on behalf of a friend (Sue) who isn't on the internet.
That turned out to be genuine - and after mutual research we managed to establish that we are sixth cousins - both descended from Richard (c1766) and Mary Plant from Stratford/West Ham ;D
I'm now helping her with her part of the tree - so am making 'third party' enquiries of my own. Must add here that I do explain how I am related to Sue, and Sue is related to them.
So there are genuine enquirers out there - just be careful how you go.
Helen
-
I am also acting as a third party as I am helping my mum's cousin who is related to me through her father but now wants to do her mother's side.
She does not have a computer so I am putting all her information on my database which I have explained to people when I contact them and that I can print off a report of the family so that I can email it to them so they can see easily where they are connected to mum's cousin.
I feel it is necessary to not alarm people you make contact with and make sure you establish why you are contacting them in this way and what you already have so they know you are genuine.
dinkey
-
Doric -
Thanks for starting this thread. Please keep us posted on what transpires. I am sure all of us who have "posted" on this thread remain interested.
yn9man
-
Will certainly keep you posted - up until this moment in time I have had no further communication. I wrote back and said that I would prefer the 'family member' to get in touch with me direct, but as yet no response.
Doric
-
Hi Folks,
As promised this is an update to my posting on Nov. 18th re passing on Genealogy information to a third party.
As mentioned, I did request that the ancestor linked to my family line get in touch with me direct, and I would be more than happy and willing to share any information I had.
Unfortunately this hasn't happened, therefore I can only presume that my initial gut feeling was correct and that the contact person was wanting to use my information for his/her gain.
Thankyou to all who responded to my original posting and I would like to close by wishing all Rootschatters a very Merry Xmas and a wonderful 2007.
Doric
-
Doric
Thanks for the update. Sounds like you were absolutely right to play a straight bat on this.
JULIAN
-
Doric -
Thanks for keeping us in the loop. It appears the way you handled the request was correct. Much better to be cautious.
Then again, maybe the "ancestor" is taking time to respond to you or maybe the "contact" hasn't been able to reach the ancestor or members of the family yet.
Thanks again for starting this thread.
Best wishes to you and yours for a wonderful Christmas and happy 2007.
yn9man
-
Hi Doric
Sorry it worked out that way as it is so nice to contact distant family through your research
Like some of the others, I have been researching for a friend & have written to a couple of folks with queries about their data (telling them I am not a paid researcher) but they have never replied. Your thoughts are telling me that I probably need the friend to contact them & let them know it is OK to talk to me - life does get too complicated at times :( :( - Maybe I should lie and say I am someone else ??? ???
Trish
-
It's a very sad thing that we all have to be so cautious. I suppose in these days of widespread fraud and identity theft we have to be.
-
It's a shame it turned out this way, but on the bright side, the relly may just come looking for you down the track.
Barbara 8)
-
Sorry it turned out that way, but yn9man might be right. The relative might just be taking time responding. I just heard from one I wrote to a couple months ago. Just said "better late than never." :)
Kath
-
As far as GR is concerned, it really doesn't cost very much for a person who is genuinely interested in contacting family members, and who has been alerted by a third party that such person(s) exist and can be found, to join on their own penny/nickel!
-
I'd agree with all that's been said ... be cautious ! I'd say this too even in the case of being contacted by a relly ... I was contacted via GR by a cousin I'd lost contact with as a teenager ... his family tree on GR included some of mine ... with many errors ! I contacted him, suggesting we swap old family photos as I had a lot he probably didnt have (hoping he'd have some I didn't have !) He replied, telling me how rich he was ... ::) ... I think trying to impress me !!
I replied once more, including a couple of family photos I knew he wouldn't have ... and not a thing since ! Ah well, there's nowt so queer as folk !!
-
If he's so rich, let him buy the certs ;D ;D ;D ;D
Kath
-
KathMc -
Excellent point and well stated. ;D ;D ;D ;D
yn9man