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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: carrielovesfanta on Friday 22 September 06 17:19 BST (UK)
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I was thinking about seeing the celebs getting a bit tearful on WDYTYA, and was wondering if anyone had found something out in their tree that had moved them to tears? Especially if it was far back - obviously when it it things about people you know then it's a bit different! (i.e. Colin Jackson's grandmother)
I've found things sad but it's never made me want to cry... am I just hard hearted??!! :-\
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Hi, can't say I've ever actually cryed over anything familytree related. Sometimes surprised, sometimes sad but never cryed.
Anna
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Something that did move me to tears was finding my 5 x great grandmother's grave at a local churchyard. I didn't find her husband and I don't know why I felt so sad when I found the grave. I have found several other graves but they haven't given me the same reaction. :-\ :-\
Kerry
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I've been very sad and angry over some of my finds:
Sad, especially, when I find something that I know my Mum or Dad would have loved to know.
Sad when I found that one of my 2 x great grandmothers probably committed suicide on her wedding anniversary because she'd found out that her husband was having an affair.
Angry at the way my great grandmother and my grandfather were treated by her parents.............. how ancestors were killed because of poor safety regs in the coal mines, were evicted from their lands, etc.
Lots of sadnesses but tears only about my Mum and Dad not knowing all this.
Gadget
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Have been very sad over a number of finds....especially my 7 British Home Children...sons and daughters of my Grandad's brother. I have their notes from the Middlemore Home where they were placed...and these children had an awful life. And...for several of them...it was not much better after they got to Canada :'(
But my saddest is little Agnes....My Grandma's illegitimate half-sister who died of malnutrition at age 2. My Grandma would have been 7 when Agnes died....I often wonder if she remembered her.....but my Grandma has been gone since 1959....so there is no way to know. Agnes bought me close to tears.
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I've found things sad but it's never made me want to cry... am I just hard hearted??!!
I'm sure you're not Caroline - its only sentimental old fools like me that are moved to tears, not young girls like you. ;) ;D
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Hi, today I found out that my 2 times greatgrandmother who had a sister who died at the age of 13 was apparently devestated by her death and for about the next sixty odd years up to her own death visited her sister's grave regularly and burst into tears every time she came back home from there, every time I read it, it makes me feel a bit for her even though my 2 times greatgrandmother died 34 years before I was born. So must admit familytree findings do make me feel sad from time to time.
Anna
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When I found out that my late dad's grandma was placed in the workhouse listed as a pauper, that got to me and my mum who remembers her grandma in law well, she is the lady on my profile, only good thing is that she did go on to have a good life with her husband and her numerous children and grandchildren, she died the year before I was born but I was the fourth great grandchild so she knew a few of us ;)
But they all seemed to have hard times and not a life like we do. I feel quite ashamed now as I have moaned today because I have had to buy a new washing machine, I would think they would have been pleased with a twin tub in there time.
Jane
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I met up with a second cousin and we were sharing family photos and history. I showed him a picture of his father and his two brothers and one sister. My cousins father had never told him that he had a sister he only new about the brothers (one my grandfather). She died of meningitis at nine years of age. As far as I know I have the only two photos in existence of poor Florence. It was very moving to see someone take in the information that he had an aunt he knew nothing about.
Regards Nicola
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Some of my tears were for my Great Uncle who died in WW1 at the age of 21 I know a lot of men did but this was all the more poignant as I found the War diaries for the date he died, also photos. His brothers were also in the same area but only one got injured and survived, the other was in a trench across the way and not a scratch. Then I found a list of all the men who died on that night and when I saw their average age (20) that was strange for me - my youngest is 20 and trying to imagine him at war was hard.
My other tears are for my In laws - James and Pansy - never being able to see their Grandchildren and their children. Never seeing how their children turned out - they both died between 1966 and 1971 -
Whenever I find a new relative on their sides I know they are watching but it isn't the same is it?
Carol
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Earlier this week I visited the churchyards where my GGrandmother & GAunt are buried. It made me sad to think that my GAunt died at 17 months old and is not buried with her family. Both she and her mother died in the workhouse.
The nice thing is she is buried in the churchyard of a beautiful C13 church so (hopefully) should never be disturbed.
Dinie
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Hi Carol
My grandfather was also killed in WW1 at Ypres, aged 30, leaving a widow and 5 young children - the youngest about 3 years old. I have visited his grave a number of times.
But if you really want to be moved by the needless loss of life in the first World War, just stand at the gates of Tyne Cot cemetery in Flanders and look over the ranks of graves to the huge memorial wall at the rear.
I think this is the most moving sight anywhere - it really brings home the huge tragedy of it all. :'(
Regards, Bill
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I keep saying that next time we are in Germany I will make the journey over to the Bard Cottage cemetery where he is buried. I don't know what I would be like being there to be honest
We went by Auschwitz one day and the feeling of sadness and death overwhelmed me then so what would I be like there
Carol
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I'm never too phased by bad things I find out. Some of the time if those things hadn't happened, I might not be here. My GG Grandfather commited suicide a few years before my G Grandmother married. That would obviously had a profound impact on her life - every part of her life. It's all a series of unlikely events that lead to me and if you change just one of them, it could change everything.
I've never got upset about anything I've found, I just accept it as it is.
I don't know anything about what my G Grandfather (other side) did. My dad and uncle never knew him - he was supposedly always working when they went to see their Grandmother. They didn't even know his name until his funeral when they were in their late teens. However I am in contact with someone on GR, a nephew of my G Grandfather who went to see them. It's this side that I'd say 'upsets' me the most because there are no photos and no information - I wish I knew more about him.
Andrew
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My GG Grandfather's sister and her family emigrated to Utah from Aberdeen in 1868 leaving behind quite a harsh life and the loss of several children.
I found out that the husband and 12 year old son had drowned in the Weber river along with another man in 1875 and I thought that was very sad...I have found that there are quite a few sad stories in my family but I too have always just accepted it.
The other day, I managed to find an article in the digital newpaper archives about the drowning and reading about it really upset me...they were crossing the river in a deeper part than usual when the son floated away. The father got hold of him but he couldn't swim and both went under water. The other man, who could swim, went after them. A witness saw the father with his son on one arm and his other arm clasping the man...they all sank together.
Maybe it was the final words of the article... 'They were all quite dead' that finally got me or actually reading an account of it rather than just a date and fact but I did get very emotional.
Elaine
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I think that the saddest i've been was when I was writing out a lot of burial records with the name Loveday. There were so many little children - I think that if i had kids of my own it probably would have got to me even more :(
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Carrie
The death of small children is somehow always saddest. I had one family who lost 6 small children, 3 at the same time to typhoid, that made me sad. I know they were used to it then but it must nevertheless have been heartbreaking to lose children like that!
Kerry
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:( :'(
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Felt quite upbeat until I read all these sad stories! My own:-
:'( Grandfather who died when my dad was only 3, so grandmother was left with two young boys to bring up on her own
:'( One gt grandmother who had never had alcohol until she was introduced to it by gt grandad and subsequently became an alcoholic and died an early death
:'( Other gt granparents who had 12 children and lost at least 5 of them in childhood
Hard times! :'(
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I'm moved to tears by my own Grandparents hard lives.
My Mum often says that they were two very damaged people who clung together through life but who should have never met :'( :-\
I feel for the ones who came before them but because I never met them - I can only feel for them :-\ :-*
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When I was in the local records office checking out Inquests, my Dad asked me to find out if there was anything on his biological Grandmother. He never knew her (although she died when he was in his 20's) but had heard that she "drank herself to death".
I found an Inquest for her death. She was an alcoholic, in her 70's, living in a boarding house and estranged from what was left of her family. But the actual cause of death was self-immolation. She tipped a bottle of metho over herself and lit a match.
Although there were no emotional ties to this woman it was upsetting for my Dad to find yet another person in his biological tree who seems to have been mentally ill. Very sad, and of course he wonders about the legacy his bloodline will inflict on me and my descendants. Don't worry Dad, I *like* having bipolar disorder!!! :)
Kez :)
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Some of my tears were for my Great Uncle who died in WW1
Whenever I find a young man who died in the Great War (whether it be my own family - my mother was named for her Uncle who was killed 2 weeks before the armistice - or someone elses) - I seem to be reduced to tears. So many of them enlisted within a week of turning 18 (or before if they could hide their age).
I also find the tears when I have young women who marry, have a number of pregnacies, lose most of the children & then die in yet another failed childbirth. I have a few of these souls in my tree & I do weep for the sadness of their adult lives.
Trish
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Hi Trish, I have a 2 times great uncle who died about 2 weeks before the end of the first world war, not of any injury but illness. I always remember him on Remembrance day now. Also my grandad was named after him.
Anna
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I was moved emotionally when I found g.grandmother on the 1901 census as being listed as a Lunatic in Stafford Lunatic Asylum
I got my maternal g.grandmothers death certificate some time later to find she actually died of Senile Decay. I suppose what she actually suffered from was Alzheimer's.
What I think saddened me was that none of her family had looked after her but had put her into the asylum instead. I am so glad that these days people aren't assumed to be mad because their memory has deteriorated.
Jean
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I think it's impossible to judge what happened in the past by todays standards and values.
Many people worked until they died. They couldn't afford to stop working to look after an elderly or infirm relative.
There is no doubt that many of our ancestors led very difficult lives.
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I've felt sad (like when I discovered my 5xgreat-grandfather buried 4 of his children from scarlett fever within 3 days of each other...and his wife a few weeks later from typhus), and angry (like when I found out my great-grandmother had an affair with the lodger while my great-grandfather was in the navy...there's a family of half-greatuncles out there somewhere from it too), but I've never cried...don't know why.
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I like to feel I am fairly solid when it comes to grieving etc.But in recent times I have wept at the grave of my great uncle who was KIA [aged 17 and six months] on the Somme.
I have felt an overwhelmoing sense of saddness when discovering one of my great grandparents was one of 9 children, 8 of whom died before the age of 5.
Sad that I had lived for 55 years whithout knowing of the existence of 18 first cousins and my dad's younger sister.
Sad that I left it late to question the previous generations.
Tom G
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i felt sad that my mum had a still birth and had no photos of my sister ( not like today you get photos) mum often spoke of my sister and there was never a birth or any document to say she was ever born.
to me this is sad as its like my sister is just a name. mum had given her with a number her year of birth (just like in the army or prison)
i have since found out i can get info on the birth. which to me will be a closure as it will give my sister a place in the family as i am going to get the documents required which will show proof of her existence and not just a name and number.
up untill just a few days ago i never knew any one could get such proof.
because of the sensitive nature i will be happy to provide information on how to get this document if any one wants to PM me as I'm not sure where to put info on the site regarding a still birth.
Bitz
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I've acquired lots of death certificates for ancestors (as one does) and most of them give fairly common causes of death - apoplexy / tb / the usual stuff, but I was a bit taken aback when i got a cert for one of my ggg g/fathers - he died of Cancer of the Tongue
I just think that must have been horrible. He was a stone mason and I wonder if that had anything to do with it.
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I wonder if he smoked a pipe?
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he died of Cancer of the Tongue
Nasty. Can't say I've come accross that one in my family fortunately, which is a surprise since most everyone in my family died from one form of cancer or another. :(
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I got rather upset when I received the death cert for whom I thought was my gg grandfather. This poor chap died in the work house in a particularly upsetting way. I then discovered that he probably wasn't my rellie, as the son I thought was my g grandfather died at the age of 6 months, followed closely by his mother. I have been unable to trace the family, so I don't know what happened in the intervening years prior to his admission into the workhouse, bu the more I think of this poor chap and how he lost his loved ones, and maybe the fact that he may have been the last of his line saddens me. Am I the only one who has remembered him 150 years later?
Sallysmum
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How sad, at least he is remembered by someone, even if you aren't a relative sallysmum.
Kerry
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Hi Bill749
I have visited Tyne Cot, and found it very moving, also went to the Menine Gate, the memorial was heart rending, cried like a baby, didn't know until i got home that my g uncle was buried in a cemetary just round the corner.. Whilst in Belgium visited many cemetaries, all having the same effect on me, also went to the fields where the fighting was, it was very eerie.
Gina
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didn't know until i got home that my g uncle was buried in a cemetary just round the corner
That's always the way, and always irritating. I visited Tyne Cot myself when I was in school, only to discover I've got two great-uncles buried there (one from my dad's side, one from my mum's). Makes me sad that you can be quite literally so close, yet so far.
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my grandfather lost his son just six weeks before the end of the 1st world war. when i found that his 1st wife died just 10 days later, it brought a tear to my eye.
made me realise what hard times they were.
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its only sentimental old fools like me that are moved to tears, not young girls like you
Only real men cry Bill...my hubby gets through boxes of tissues when watching something sad on the TV, and I think it's lovely. I don't admire heart-hearted men at all.
I was upset when I discovered that three of my great great uncles died very young, and did have a little cry when I discovered one of their wives had died in the workhouse blind for 25 years. I can't imagine what life must have been like for her after bringing up a family. She was home with the family in 1881 but in the workhouse with her eldest daughter in 1891, so must have fallen on hard times. :'(
Su
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my hubby gets through boxes of tissues when watching something sad on the TV
Me too, Su - more than ever these days - but the worst time was when Princess Di's brother spoke at her funeral!!
:'( :'( :'(
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I visited Bergen Belson museum and watched the film taken at the end of the war when the camp was liberated. Even though I, to my knowledge, do not have any ancestors there, I wept buckets because it was so terrible.
Having said that I get laughed at by certain family members because I am so sensitive and can cry at the drop of a hat.
I got teased unmercifully for shedding tears at the Hot Chocolate advert that used to be on T.V. in the 70's where a young girl had waited in the cold for her boyfriend and he didn't turn up. On her return home, mum gave her hot chocalate and she replied that the boy had 'big ears anyway'. I sat there with tears rolling down my face and the whole family shouted 'Look she's even crying at adverts now!'
I sobbed my way through 'Holocaust' so much so that hubby suggested I didn't watch anymore because I was too upset by it. Finally one Christmas I watched a children's cartoon called 'Teddy Edward Bear Finds Christmas' and blubbered all the way through that.
I don't think there is much hope for me now. My youngest son inherited this sensitive trait and his dad sent him to boxing lessons to toughen him up, but he cried when he hurt someone!
I agree that it takes a real man to cry. Now I don't try and hide it I just do it and I feel much better rather than bottling it up.
Pennine
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I spent some time searching the War Graves Commission site for the grave or memorial to my great-grandad's brother who died at Ypres (WW1), and seeing the names of all those young men did bring a lump to my throat. It really brought home the whole idea of a lost generation.
Also, a couple of days ago I found the death certificate for my gran's younger brother who died at the age of 6. I always knew he had died, but seeing it there in black and white was so sad. The ages of the deceased were given and he was surrounded by the names of people who had lived into their 70s and 80s and then there was this single figure 6.