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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: bonfirebrian on Friday 14 January 05 10:47 GMT (UK)

Title: contacting living relatives
Post by: bonfirebrian on Friday 14 January 05 10:47 GMT (UK): Trust everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Very best wishes to all for the New Year.
My question is: can anyone suggest an idealish questionnaire that I could send to distant relations?

Regards

Brian
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Kazza on Saturday 15 January 05 03:28 GMT (UK): Brian,

Good Question. ;D

I will move this into the main Beginners Board to make sure it is seen and answered.

Kazza.
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Amy K on Saturday 15 January 05 08:29 GMT (UK): This is a copy of a letter that I send out to suspected distant rellies, it ususally gets a good response.

Quote
Dear XXXXXXX

I have been tracing my family tree for several years and I am writing to you because I believe we may be related. Before I explain how I think we are connected I want to reassure you that I want absolutely nothing from you. My only desire is that you would consider sharing some family information with me.

Now, let me explain how I think we are connected:

Your mother was XXXXXXX. She was born in XXX and married XXXXX. Your mother was the last daughter of XXXXXXX & XXXXXXXX. This couple had seven other children; the oldest surviving son was XXXXXX. He is my great, great grandfather. I have enclosed a copy of our family tree in order to illustrate this connection.

I would really appreciate it if you could let me know if this information is accurate. I am interested in all kind of details about our family. Unfortunately, my granddad died before I was born, and this means that I know very little about his (and your) parents, aunties, uncles and grandparents. For example, do you recall any of their occupations? Where they lived? What they looked like? Can you remember who they married and what their children were called?

I will understand if you are too busy to reply, or simply if you don’t want to. I can imagine it is strange to receive a letter out of the blue, asking you to share personal information with a stranger. On the other hand, if you are interested in exchanging information I have same interesting things I can share with you, such as XXXXXX.

I have enclosed a pre-paid envelope for your convenience, should you choose to reply (which I really hope you will!) however, please feel free to telephone me on the above numbers if you feel more comfortable with that and I shall call you back immediately to save you the cost of the call.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this letter, and I hope to hear form you soon.

Yours sincerely,

XXXXXX
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Amy K on Saturday 15 January 05 08:31 GMT (UK): Obviously I tailor the relationship part. I include my telephone number and they uusally call instead of write. I find the best thing is to reassure them that you are not a golddigger and only want information and possibly photos. Don't bombard them with questions, when they call you let them talk where their mind takes them.

Hope this helps.

Amy
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Nick Carver on Saturday 15 January 05 10:26 GMT (UK): I did something similar except I did't know if the people I was targeting were related or not. So I gave a list of the 1840s to about 1900 family that I knew of and sent it to about 15 Carvers in the Hull telephone directory, asking if they recognised any of the family relationships. I got one reply immediately and a referral to American relatives. Since then I have found that although I have identified all the second cousins, there are third cousins and probably fourth cousins who still need to be linked into the tree. It's always nice when this happens.

I also had a PM last week from a new Rootschatter who is a fifth cousin. Chalk another one up for this wonderful forum!
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Ticker on Saturday 15 January 05 16:21 GMT (UK): Hi Brian

Amy's is a super letter to send to people where you think you know the relationship and I would suggest you use something along those lines if you are in that situation.

About 15 years ago I wrote to every member of the Tymon family I could find in the UK telephone directory (about 60) and obviously had to use a different approach. I sent something like that set out below (after starting off with a few pleasantries about contacting them out of the blue - hope they don't mind etc):

Quote
I have been studying my family tree for a few years and have traced the Tymon family back to my great great great great grandfather John Tymon who was born in Ireland in about 1790.

I am now trying to link some of the other branches of the family in England. There are occurrences of the Tymon name in Scarborough, Wigan, Selby, Nottingham and one or two other places.

Most of the information I have which would allow me to link the branches up goes back to about 1860 to 1900. Do you know your family history back to those dates? I would love to hear from you even if you don't have any details. I would of course share all my information with you too if you want.

The basic information I need is your father, grandfather, great grandfather etc. (on the Tymon side of course) and any extra information you have on these people such as names of wives, children, and any locations, professions etc. I enclose a form to help you with the information I would ideally like.

Thank you for reading my letter – I hope to be able to tell you that we are distant cousins one day! If you are on email please contact me that way. My email address and telephone number are shown above.

I think it is very important to include some sort of form for them to fill in, otherwise you get all sorts of suspect information back that doesn't make much sense.

I got about 20 replies and am still in contact with some 15 years later.

Hope this helps.

Ticker
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: bonfirebrian on Saturday 15 January 05 18:37 GMT (UK): Brilliant replies by everyone.

VMT

Brian
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Amy K on Sunday 16 January 05 17:17 GMT (UK): Quote
Hi Ticker,
I really liked your letter and might use something similar to contact KITCHER people. Can you possibly post a copy of the form you sent them, if you still have it.

Amy

Hi Amy

Sorry to be so slow replying but I have ben trying to find my questionnaire but I'm afraid I can't - it was a long time ago.

Basically if I remember rightly it had columns for Full name, Maiden name, DOB, Place of Birth, Date of Marriage, Place of Marriage, Occupation, Fathers name

And rows saying You, Your spouse, Your children and their spouses (several rows), then Your father, your mother, your fathers father etc. etc.

I spelt it out as clearly as I could but stilll people filled it in wrong! The main problem I had was if the wife (who had married into the Tymon family of course) filled it in and then proceeded to tell me about all her non Tymon ancestors! :)

Hope this helps a bit

Ticker
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Steve Ley on Sunday 16 January 05 17:53 GMT (UK): In my family history software "Legacy" they have a questionnaire i can print out and send off to people.
I have also seen some fro free on the net but i cannot remember where :(

Steve.
Title: Re: Questionnaire for distant relatives
Post by: Jane Eden on Sunday 03 April 05 09:05 BST (UK): Quote from: Steve Ley on Sunday 16 January 05 17:53 GMT (UK)
In my family history software "Legacy" they have a questionnaire i can print out and send off to people.

Steve

Please will you send me a copy of the questionnaire.

Thanks

Jane
Title: contacting living relatives
Post by: sheddyg on Thursday 30 March 06 12:15 BST (UK): I`m pretty sure this has been covered before but I can`t find it.

Does anyone have any advice on contacting living relatives? - 3th, 4th, 5th cousins etc.

I`m thinking particularly of people where I know their address (through a bit of detective work) but I have no idea if they are interested in family history etc. I don`t want it to appear like I`m "stalking" them.

I think what I`m after is information, I don`t necessarily want to strike up a relationship with them - although obviously that would be an added bonus.

What should I say? :-\ What info should I give or ask for... :-\ :-\

I`d better stop now before I talk myself out of it - again. Even potential rejection from strangers scares me and normally I`m such a tough cookie!
sheddyg
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: carol8353 on Thursday 30 March 06 12:26 BST (UK): Hi Sheddy

I usually start my letters with " my research has led me to think that we may be related"

Then go into....I am the daughter of etc etc whom I believe you might be the cousin of(or whatever :)) Say you are sorry if you have the wrong person,but if you are correct,you would love to hear from them, as you are trying to trace your family history.

Give your address,phone number and email address.....then they have a choice. You might hear from them......you might not.
On the whole I have been pretty lucky ;D

I and a friend also did the same thing to track down 105 of our old school pals for the schools 50th anniversary 4 years ago.Most people are curious,and we were even lucky enough to get replies from people saying "sorry you have the wrong person,but good luck anyway."

So good luck ;D

Carol
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: quizmaster on Thursday 30 March 06 14:46 BST (UK): Why should anyone be offended by a letter? A phone call is more intrusive. The worst that can happen is that you do not hear from them. You are much more likely to get a letter back expressing mild curiosity in what you are doing and probably giving you a bit of information. I have had mixed responses following this course of action, including one lady who apparently was slightly upset by the contact but mostly because she had been widowed and her late husband was my relative. Perhaps she didn't like being reminded of him?

So go for it

QM
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: millerina on Thursday 30 March 06 15:33 BST (UK): Good Luck Sheddy ;D

I am also about to write to a newly discovered relative, a cousin of my Grandmothers, so I totally understand all the questions going around in your mind at the moment! ;D I'm sure if you are just friendly and tell them exactly why you have written to them, then they'll probably be happy to reply to you. Everybody loves to receive a friendly handwritten letter, and like quizmaster said, the worst they can do is not reply to it.

Don't talk yourself out of it, fingers crossed we get some good replies!

millerina :)
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Romilly on Thursday 30 March 06 15:39 BST (UK): Hi Sheddy,

I see no problems with a letter.

I did this last Christmas & had a good response. I also put my email address & phone numbers in my letter, as some people find email contact easier initially.

Good Luck!

Romilly. ;)
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Comosus on Thursday 30 March 06 18:14 BST (UK): I haven't found anyone living yet (well except on GR). However, I think including a few trees of your research would be very helpful. If it is the right person, I think they're more likely to reply if they know that you ~~ate~~ are (what a typo!) a relative. I have been considering contacting living relatives. I have found a few deaths for siblings of my G Grandfather which are reasonably recent, one of which was only 5 years ago. I have considered ordering their death certificates to get addresses.

However, the way I see things is that if you don't jump at opportunities you get, you can end up regretting them. If you decide to do this 5 years down the line, the person you were trying to contact may not be living anymore and information would be lost. Also, there is little harm in contacting someone - even if they don't reply, you have not lost anything because you never knew them in the first place. However if they do reply and do send you copies of photos, information etc then it will have been a brilliant success.

My advice: Take the opportunities you get and there's nothing to lose by contacting someone. I wish I took heed of my own acdive sometimes.

Andrew
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Gadget on Thursday 30 March 06 18:24 BST (UK): Last year I managed to contact most of the descendants of one set of great grandparents for a re-union.
I can't remember how I started the ball rolling but I think sometime in the January a newly found cousin and I decided it would be fun to do. We each contacted relatives we knew or people we thought might know of some. I even phoned some up from cold (you try finding a Roberts in Llangollen - luckily the second person I phoned knew a friend who knew my cousin - voila, I got him).
A re-union was arranged for mid-July. Even a fortnight before I was still tracing them - all over the UK and Canada, Australia, Ireland). In the end nearly 100 came to the party. It was great fun. ;D ;D ;D

Gadget
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: GeoffP on Thursday 30 March 06 18:37 BST (UK): I usually send a stamped addressed envelope with my letter and incude a part of the family tree showing how we might be connected. However it all depends on the person. The last time I did this and contacted a second cousin once removed, it was all politely sent back to me explaining that they knew all their immediate relatives and were not interested. Such a pity, because all I wanted was some info. on some other lost family lines.
Geoff
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: CU on Thursday 30 March 06 18:59 BST (UK): Oh you must do it. Write a letter and put a rough family tree in. I always enclose a SAE. Last time I wrote to a new relative I got back the only photo of my great grandparents I have. The gentleman was in his 90's and remember my great grandfather, who he said could swim like a fish! Something I would never have found out.
Good luck ;D
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Romilly on Thursday 30 March 06 19:11 BST (UK): Hi Again,

Yes, - definately do go for it!

Thanks to contacting my cousins, I was sent a photo of my father with his brothers. (The only photo of my father that I had before that was one of him aged 18). I can't tell you how pleased I was to recieve it! :) :)

Do let us know how you get on.

Best Wishes, Romilly.
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: KathMc on Thursday 30 March 06 19:13 BST (UK): Absolutely write. I have had such incredible luck that way. I went from not knowing my gg grandfather's name to getting a picture of his father and a tree back to him, and a wonderful new cousin to boot. I have also found a gg grandmother's family the same way, and am getting incredible information. I have done it many times and I too include my email address and a self-addressed stamped envelope. I did a phone call once, at the pushing of a first cousin and that was rather disastorous, although it was a relative. It took her a while to warm up (if that's what you would call it) and then I sent her a lot of stuff and haven't heard back from her, and this has easily been a month now.

I have also sent out many that turned out not to be relatives and many that haven't responded, but the ones that do are so worth it. And I still have some out there for my dad's family, recently finding out that my great-grandmother was one of 14 kids.

Go for it and let us know what happens.

Kathleen
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: annaandchester on Friday 31 March 06 08:27 BST (UK): I have written to people, rung people and even advertised in newspapers for people and I have had nothing but positive responses.

If you are polite and explain yourself right from the start - who you are and what you want - you cant go wrong.

I have had letters and emails from people who cant help but are interested - a few have ask how to go about tracing their own tree.

The worst thing they can say is not interested - what do you have to lose?

Anna x
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: PassionPlay on Friday 31 March 06 15:03 BST (UK): My grandmother was unmarried when she gave birth to my father and subsequently married and moved to Warwickshire, leaving Dad to be brought up by her Aunt and to all intents and purposes, was never seen again. Wanting to know what happened to her is what started me off with all this...

Anyway not wanting to digress too far, I uncovered three children from this marriage and in turn some grandchildren. I found three possible addresses for the eldest grandchild and then agonised for eight months over whether to contact them, knowing it would be a complete shock to learn that their Grandma had a child out of wedlock so long ago.

A chance meeting (another story!) gave me the specific area of Warwickshire where she had lived and one of my addresses was in the same town so I bit the bullet and wrote, explaining who I was and enclosing a basic tree and a photo of our common great-grandparents. I also made it clear that I was only looking for information and that I would respect their privacy should they choose not to respond.

It was at least three weeks before I had a response (and I had just about decided that I had the wrong people by then)... and the initial e-mail was to say they were about to go on hols and would contact when they got back and the wait was agonising... when they did they were great, filled in lost of gaps for me and sent me a couple of pictures of my Grandmother which was great as Dad had never seen her either (well, not that he remembered lol!).... and we still exchange e-mails every so often I'm pleased to say.

So yes, I understand your caution but it's an opportunity so grab it!

Let us know how you get on (if that's not too nosey!)

Steph.
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Wendi on Friday 31 March 06 19:17 BST (UK): PassionPlay, what a lovely outcome :) and photo's too, that was the best part of my foray into contacting living relatives, the photos, as I had none at all, 'till I did IT

Quote from: sheddyg on Thursday 30 March 06 12:15 BST (UK)
Even potential rejection from strangers scares me and normally I`m such a tough cookie!

Hi sheddyg

I think the quote from you says it :) - it is a really "new" thing to do these days, try to find "lost" relatives. The TV has helped to enlighten people to the fact that it may happen, but I think you just have to don your elephant skin and wade in there :D

"If you don't ask you will never get, and hey, as long as you know you did it as politely as you were able - if you get no response then you know, avenue closed....but if you don't try you'll forever be wondering

Elephant skin, that's the key ;)

Wendi
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: sheddyg on Friday 31 March 06 21:24 BST (UK): Ooohhhh my lovely Rootschat brothers and sisters, I just knew you would be the ones to talk to. Thank you all so much for your wonderfully wise, kind and reassuring words of encouragement.
:-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
I will definately be making contact and will keep you all posted.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me, I am feeling much braver now.

sheddyg
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: D ap D on Tuesday 04 April 06 08:51 BST (UK): I've done it countless times and can group my experiences into 2 areas - those who don't reply (I've not had anyone say they are not interested), and those who bound with enthusiasm.

Funnily enough its usually the older relatives who fall into the last group. I've lost count of the times I've been told that they have so much to tell, and nobody is left who is interested. I have found one, a second cousin of my grandmothers, who is over 90. It has given her a new lease on life and every time I go and visit her (maybe once a year), she has a stack of new information, photos etc.

I would say that you'll have one like this for every 5 of the first group, but it is worth it.

Go for it, expect not to hear anything then you won't be disappointed. However, if you don't try, you'll never know.

D
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: KathMc on Tuesday 04 April 06 09:54 BST (UK): I've done it again. A first cousin of mine found my great-great-grandfather's brother's family on the Welcome Walls at the Maritime Museum in Freemantle, Australia, an absolute and lucky fluk. I sent an email to the museum and the museum has forwarded that information to the family, so hopefully I will hear back soon.

I think it's always worth it to attempt to make contact.

Kathleen
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: PassionPlay on Tuesday 04 April 06 12:07 BST (UK): And there's a postscript to my tale - as of Sunday, two more cousins from the Warwickshire family have asked me to get in touch, hurrah!

I have crossed my fingers for more photos - although am delighted just to make acquaintance ;D

Steph.
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Nick Carver on Tuesday 04 April 06 12:27 BST (UK): And don't forget to leave as many clues as you can on the Internet for people who come searching for the same family tree later. Not everyone uses RootsChat (to their own loss), so stick messages on Surname message boards, regional message boards, the lot. Send messages to people whose surname interests overlap with yours but with whom no apparent match has yet been made. Other people will do the same and this will enable the site owner to respond saying that they are not part of the same family, but contact Fred, who may well be your relative.
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: CarolBurns on Thursday 06 April 06 21:39 BST (UK): My brother in law lent me a book with every Burns (up to a certain date) in the world and it was when I was first starting with the Family Research. I sat one night and typed out a letter on the PC and then printed it out 100 times! Yes you read the number correctly.

I went through the book and found the area I thought hubby's family were from and sent a letter to each one listed. I posted them 20 at a time every couple of days as hubby would have had a fit if he saw the pile I wanted to take to the PO. I ended up printing out another 50 copies before I got them all and it took me over three weeks to post them all. No I didn't find any members of the family but plenty of people contacted me to say they were sorry they couldn't help but wished me luck. Many also gave me telephone numbers of their relatives in other parts of Northumberland and said to say that they had given me the number and they were to help as well. So it went from post to phone. Then I sent a letter by email with a photo, of hubby's father when he was a child with others ofthe family who we didn't know, to the main newspaper up there.

Waiting was the worst bit but two weeks later I received a letter from oneo f hubby's 1st cousins!! Her father was in the photo and she was able to tell us exactly who was who in the photo. We eventually met her 4 weeks later and she gave us so much info I didn't know where to start. With one letter and an old photo we had found father in law's 2 brothers and 2 sisters and all their children and grandchildren and great grandchildren as well!

So if anyone is doubtful about doing anything like this - don't be - just go ahead and do it

You might be surprised how many people will help even though they aren't related

Carol
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Simon G. on Friday 07 April 06 02:07 BST (UK): Personally I never send out speculative letters to people who may or may not be related. OK, that's not quite true...I'll contact people I've come accross online or whatever who have declared they have an interest in a surname I'm researching, but that's slightly different. This is partially because I've been told to "get lost" too many times by people I know I'm related too, 'cause I remember actually having met them when I was young (what can I say, I've got a family of unco-operative people. :P)
I tend to prefer to telephone people wherever possible...I find family are much more co-operative if you speak to them like that. I think it makes it seem more personal, as if you're actually taking an interest in them by taking the time to call them...rather than just clicking print on a letter you've no doubt sent to multiple people already.

Whenever I receive a letter though, I always answer. Not sure why, maybe us researchers feel more prepared to reply to every enquiry 'cause we'd like people to do the same with ours. :)
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: annaandchester on Saturday 08 April 06 11:19 BST (UK): I am in Carlisle at the moment researching my family tree. My grandmother happened to mention the other day that my mothers second cousin worked in the town centre so I popped in to introduce myself yesterday. As it was he had retired about 6 months ago but one of his colleagues gave me his phone number.
I rang him last night and although he isn't interested in the family tree he was patient and helpful and has promised to look out any photos that he has. He also gave me the numbers of his two sisters, both of whom are interested in my research (I have promised them both a copy of the family tree) and will also look out the few photos that they have.
My mother only met these people once or twice as very small children but they were all happy to chat to me and share stories of their memories.
What have you got to lose? The worst they would have said was b*gger off and I would be in no worse a position than I was before I rang them. As it is I have a promise of photos and possibly a few memories.

Anna x
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: casliber on Saturday 08 April 06 12:44 BST (UK): Hi,
I have contacted a few and all have been friendly thus far. I prefer ringing and email myself - a letter seems too easy to discard somehow.

One of the most vaulable encounters came by chance - I traced one line from my mother's great grandmother and I looked in the Sydney white pages and there was a phone number of one person with te same unusual hypenated name. I rang it and a man answered and confirmed the name but declined to talk. I left my phone number anyway.

He rang back 5 minutes later and explained he was the lover (widow) of my great-great-grandmother's grandson who had died 10 years before. They had been together 50 years. My grandfather (who I never met as he was estranged from my grandmother and mother anyway) had not liked his cousin as he was gay.

This man had left the phone in his partner's name for 10 years after he died which allowed me to find him. He gave me a Birthday Motto book owned by my great-great grandparents with all their rel's and friends' birth/marriage and death dates. He had also met my great great grandmother who died in 1953 aged 90.

happy searching
cas
Title: Approaching possible relatives.....
Post by: oldcrone on Saturday 20 May 06 17:44 BST (UK): I'm sure this has been a thread before.....but I've wondered how do folks deal with approaching possible relatives when you haven't got alot about them, but you have found some people via telephone directories/192 etc living in some tiny village that your granny lived in in 1850??!! With the same surname (often not that common). :-\

Basically, it's a variation of the 'cold call'.....I haven't done it yet...but advice would be welcomed....!! ;)

Clara

ps personally, I'd love it if someone approached me :D, but not all are interested in FH.....

Moderator Comment: topics merged
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: annaandchester on Saturday 20 May 06 17:51 BST (UK): I have cold called and have found no one but everyone I have ever spoken to has been helpful and nice and really interested in what I was trying to do

Anna x
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Burrow Digger on Sunday 21 May 06 00:52 BST (UK): Posting your family info online on as many places as possible really works. ;D

I posted a question last Xmas about my mothers 3x gt grandfather on another forum (not rootschat or rootsweb). My mother was born out of wedlock and adopted out. Her mother got married and had another family. All this I found out from records and indexes online.

2 weeks ago a lady back in NZ (my home country) read my post and contacted me. She turned out to be my third cousin. Her mother and my mother are second cousins, and her grandmother and my grandmother were first cousins - and also very good friends when they were growing up

Since the new cousin lives in the same city as my parents - she and my mother have now met. My mother told me just today that the cousin will be contacting my mothers half siblings and asking them if they are interested in meeting my mother. She is after all a half sister they possibly never knew about.

The cousin will also be determining if my grandmother is still alive or not. She also has lots of photos and newspaper clippings - so my mother says. I'll have to write and ask if she can send me some copies by snail or email.

BD
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Tees on Monday 12 June 06 13:52 BST (UK): Hi All,

I have read this thread with much interest, I must say that I have mixed results.

I have done so much research on my family tree. I sent out the copies of my findings to all of my immediate family members.

It turned out that my uncle did his some years back but did not want to share his findings with me. He knows well that I am awfully interested in the family history. It is a bit sad for I could have saved some of money on certs and other documents.

Another thing is that when I sent my findings out, I asked my relatives if they could be kind enough to share any old photographs or stories/information with me. They did not.

It took a fare and my Dad to flew across the pond. We were able to collect a bit of old photographs and other findings. My relatives were happy to provide any information I asked of them.

It had to be one of the most puzzling moment(s) about my family--they failed to see how expensive it was for us to come over to get such information when they could have simply sent them via snail mail. I even offered to reimburse any cost--apparently, this line does not work on them!

I came home--thinking that those very relatives are not mine but Dad's. I did tell Dad my feeling about this--he insisted that they are my family much as his. But I still do not feel any better.

Nevertheless, I was pleased with my findings. Worthwhile, yes--moneywise, no.

Recently, I was in the contact with two descendants from my family tree of two different lineages. One was and still is very helpful with my enquires. Another person is working with me with my help.

It all depends on whom you encountered and how they would react to your requests.

The best of luck to all of you!!

Best wishes,

Tees
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: Simon G. on Monday 12 June 06 22:53 BST (UK): Quote from: Tees on Monday 12 June 06 13:52 BST (UK)
I asked my relatives if they could be kind enough to share any old photographs or stories/information with me. They did not.
It's not just my lot then. I sometimes think my Golding line lacks the DNA for good-thinking, pleasantness and generosity. :P
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: GeoffP on Tuesday 13 June 06 10:40 BST (UK): In general the same for my lot. It has been a constant battle to get info. ,photos etc. Often initial interest but when it gets to details little response. Even a cold shoulder from one branch who politely said they had no interest. Sad for keen genealogists like us but I suppose everybody can't be the same.
Geoff
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: bulsara on Tuesday 13 June 06 21:43 BST (UK): In my searches I have found a family that although not related in any way were "very good friends" and neighbours of my father and his second wife.Both my father and the second wife have died and members of this family were left money,and lots of other things.They have personal things and lots of photos that I would dearly love to have, but will they send me copies of the photos?I have offered to pay any costs involved but they just don't want to know.
Although I didn't really see my father much I was his only child so I feel very miffed to say the least by this familes attitude to me.
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: CarolBurns on Wednesday 14 June 06 10:20 BST (UK): Quote from: GeoffP on Tuesday 13 June 06 10:40 BST (UK)
In general the same for my lot. It has been a constant battle to get info. ,photos etc. Often initial interest but when it gets to details little response. Even a cold shoulder from one branch who politely said they had no interest. Sad for keen genealogists like us but I suppose everybody can't be the same.
Geoff

I have to admit that the initial interest was not very good when I started. No one was willing to give info never mind photos etc.

Now after nearly 10 years of research, buying certs, contacting "new" family members and miles and miles of footslogging They have an interest in what I am doing and all want to know who I have found and how far I have got back!

Maybe they thought I wouldn't stick with it for long though they should all know me by now - I love a good challenge and you can't get more challenging than this.

Carol
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: jeffster on Sunday 03 December 06 22:14 GMT (UK): Hello,

I've been reading the correspondence and I have a question as to how to write a certain letter. Here's a bit of background.

My grandmother came over to Canada with grandpa in 1947. She was born about the turn of the century, being abandoned by her mother shortly after she was born. On her landing records she listed her birth mother(the one that abandoned her) as living in Ontario, Canada. Apparently my grandparents went and visited her and her half-brother for awhile before settling in western Canada.

I found the family that was living closest to me, but they don't wish to share any information. I have been able to track down a niece of the half-brother still living in Ontario.

My main question is how do I brooch the subject to this individual? I have a copy of my grandma's landing record as proof of mother's name. As well my grandmother had a bunch of photographs of the half-brother, and family in her collection. Should I include this information/photos in my letter?? My grandmother died when I was 4 and this is the only kind of "family" I can find for her. Grandpa had the half-brothers address on a contact list shortly after my grandmother pasted away.

Any advice?>

Jeff
Title: Re: contacting living relatives
Post by: KathMc on Monday 04 December 06 10:15 GMT (UK): Jeff,

I would send a letter with copies of a few of the pictures and the landing records. Just explain what you are doing. I always include in my letters (and I have sent out a ton) that I might have information to share and hope that maybe they do to. I talk about how the personal stories mean more than names and dates in the research process. I have a similar situation with my mother's father, as he left them when my mom was very little and they had minimal contact after that. He never had any more children after my mom and her older brother and I was working from scratch on how to find family members. I actually did it, sent a letter, and have some new relatives I am very close to and loads of incredible information. I have just made contact with my mom's second cousins (the closest I will get) and although it is a little like pulling teeth, they are interested.

The worst that will happen is you won't get a response or they will tell you they arent interested. Always include a self-addressed stamped envelope, and a Rootschatter a while ago suggested putting in the letter that if they aren't interested to please send the empty envelope back, so you know they at least received it, and I always do that also.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Best,
Kath

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