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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: GRACELAND on Saturday 18 September 04 19:56 BST (UK)
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Now maybe this sound silly but how much stick do you get when you tell people your into family history ,or you like looking at interesting grave stone ;)
Are you regarded as strange same as trainspotters ?
Or do you keep it quiet ?
ie .. pretend to walk the dog passed thoses interesting gravestones ? or carry a bunch of flowers around the cem ;D
Do most of your freind know ? Do mum and dad know !
Do they join in ?? or is it a family thing you all go walking in the cem ;D
Come on tell us all :D
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Hiya Graceland
I have been very lucky with people's reaction when I tell them that I'm doing my family tree - they think it's wonderful! My best mate is thinking of starting hers so she wants me to help start her off - her starting point will be registering herself on RootsChat of course!!!!
My Dad is fascinated with what I've found about his family - he often calls round just to see my latest discoveries.
My Mum's reaction hasn't been that good - in fact she has no interest in her own family history whatsoever - perhaps she's hiding some dark secret - I can't wait to discover that one.
Lastly, my husband, he's not interested either >:(. He's got his sporting interests and hobbies so at least when he's doing his own thing I can have the PC all to myself ;D That's how I like it LOL LOL
Jan ;)
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I forgot to mention:
My Mum thinks I'm weird going round churchyards taking photos (bless her :(). I love doing it.
Quite recently I was happily snapping away in the Cemetery in Newtown, Powys and got really excited when I found my GG Grandparents gravestone ;D I got a bit carried away and started cheering to myself and got some interesting looks from the people at the next grave who were busy arranging flowers LOL
:D :D
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Most of the family are quite interested in whatever I 'dig up', I just have to remember not to get too carried away once I start. (We have a family reunion once a year because we are all a bit spread out)
I do get some rather strange looks when my daughter and I go rambling round graveyards with note book and pen in hand taking details off the headstones, we usually have 2 lists, one of definites and another of possibles.
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;) Good for you Bee you don't have to carry flowwers all the time then ! ;D
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Most people fall asleep when I tell them I'm an accountant. Any who remain conscious are usually finished off when I mention my family tree! But every so often someone shows an interest and then I'm in heaven!
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I know a very nice woman (in her 40s probably - I'm too polite to ask!) who told me one day when we were chatting about my family searches that she would never search her roots because she was a foundling. She was found in London's Soho and she suspected that her mother was a prostitute. Also she had no children herself and never intended having any.
I can entirely understand her attitude. For me, the saddest aspect of a very sad story is that the genes/DNA etc of one of the nicest people I have ever known will not be passed on...
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c :'( :'( :'( clincher i agree ...
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My mother's response to most of my genealogical finds is, "You need to get a REAL hobby!"
The only exception was when I found her GG grandparents, followed down, and she discovered that the little boy she had loathed in school was her 2nd cousin! Her response? "Oh! Well, he was a rotter!"
Anna
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My Husband's eys glaze over when I even dare to mention it and only listens to shut me up! He says I spend too much time on the computer with dead people :o and when the post is late, he says the post man has died of boredom on the way cos he's got to deliver my certificates. My Mum is semi interested but I think she has trouble grasping it all. She gets this blank expression on her face when I show her what I've found ;D. Me and my hubby sometimes set challenges for each other and if I win, he has to take me to the FRO and spend the whole day there with me.............I won't tell you what I have to do ::)
Kimi
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Obviously we all have a love affair with are own family history :D but would our other halves/living relatives/friends show more interest if we told them that we had famous ancestors or that there was an unclaimed legacy just waiting to be claimed, not that I've got either in mine and I'll be very surprised if I find any.
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Family history,and the time I devote to it,certainly causes some consternation in my house :-\
My long suffering, but wonderful partner,isn't into genealogy or history at all,not one bit :( she thinks it's all a waste of time and pointless.
I'm sure that I'm not alone,but when I make an interesting discovery,I want to tell someone about it,but any attempt to enlighten my other half,is met with the usual rolling eyes and an expression that clearly says "why do you bother,you know I'm not interested".
In a vain attempt to get her 'interested' I decided (without telling her) that I would research her family,that would surely do it,I thought.
I spent a ridiculous ammount of time on it (fortunately ,her family were all local) and I managed to get back to 1780.
Pleased with my efforts,I chose the time carefully,and presented her with a detailed history of her family.After a look through it all she said "they weren't too interesting were they,they didn't move far and they were all farm workers" ::)
Now,I rarely bother telling her what I've discovered.Our cat knows more about my family history than my partner does ;D
At least the cat 'pretends' to be interested,and she keeps her opinions to herself :)
So,there's no big discussions in my house about social history,no discourse on the lives of people in Victorian England,no Military history,in fact nothing remotely related to family history,but I love her to bits,and I make up for my apparent shortcomings in 'other ways' ;D
My sympathies to anyone in a similar situation,
Mick ;)
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My mum is very interested by what I find about her family but says she could not be bothered by doing all the research. My husband were not the slightest bit interested until I found his Dads cousin in New Zealand. I am now in touch with him and we have received an invite to go out there. My son finished Uni. a year ago and wanted to go out there but student debts prevent it. Now he says sod the cost when are we going. Its the only time he has wanted to know about his family background.(http://fool.exler.ru/sm/ser.gif)
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Many people think it's an interesting hobby but they seem to think it's too much like hard work for them to do themselves. My mum thinks it's great but expects me to do all hers for her - doesn't even offer to help pay for certificates! And as I posted elsewhere, she once asked me "When you've finished doing the family history, can you research the history of my house?" Research your own house, Mum! you live in it!
>:(
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Whenever I mention - Guess what I've found today ? to my other half he sort of groans and that look of "wish I wasn't here" appears! ::) If my two - now grown up children are around it's oh no Mum's going to talk about the family history...
oh well, wish I had a cat to talk to,
Newbie
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Or, you could share it all with us, we love to know. ;D
My husband has also given up even pretending to be interested. Mum and Dad always ask me what the latest is though. And as for Nicey (My beautiful Burmese cat) he is far too important to be bothered with my affairs. He sits next to me while I use the computer though, he likes to keep an eye on me.
Kazza.
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All my friends are now getting into it themselves, my mum would of loved it but sadly shes gone :(
My aunties and uncles are thrilled and join in.
Ive found new long lost cousins back home (UK) and now they are getting into it as well BUT send all the details to yours truly to put together
As for going through graveyards its a bit hard as all my ancestors are back home in the UK and its a long way to go through them from over in OZ
My brother thinks is wonderful and always asks have you found another 1960s London gangster?
My hubby looks at me raises his eyebrowns then frowns and says when I tell him what I found out 'Your all bloody criminals! haha
with uk actors, 60's gansters, and the like my family tree is full of colourful characters
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My research is proving fascinating for the rest of my family and more are eager to know what I've found out so I call them regularly and let them know of anything new. A large part of my family history is unknown. Well, was unknown until I found out some fascinating stuff.
For example, the names of my grandfather's siblings on my mother's side were completely unknown as they dispersed during WW1 - now I have them and loads more info. Names on my ggrandmother's side were also unknown but I now have them and more.
The general reaction I get is of interest when I tell people what I do in my spare time. I don't think anyone has thought of it as dull and boring. :)
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Or, you could share it all with us, we love to know. ;D
My husband has also given up even pretending to be interested. Mum and Dad always ask me what the latest is though. And as for Nicey (My beautiful Burmese cat) he is far too important to be bothered with my affairs. He sits next to me while I use the computer though, he likes to keep an eye on me.
Kazza.
Kazza you have GOT to get rid of him! I can recommend a good divorce lawyer any time! ;D ;D (it's OK love, I don't mean it!) We have so much in common! Cats as well now! My little white fluffball, Duchess, when I am sitting up late on the pc, sits next to me and looks at me, half closing her eyes making them all pink round the edges, as if to say "Mum! I'm EXHAUSTED! I need my beauty sleep! Turn the light off and go to bed!" ;D ;D
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MrsLizzy,
The only thing about my (current ;D ) husband that I would change, is that he is allergic to cats. ::) He loves Nicey, and Nicey will allow this, but my husband swells up, gets wheezy, starts crying, etc. However, I have had the cat for 12 years, and have only been married for 4, so there was no question of Nicey going anywhere. ;D ;D
Kazza.
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My husband is not remotely interested in what I do (and it is his family I am researching) until I make a discovery of some sort. He then spends hours on the phone telling his relatives what "we" have found!
Jill
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:) My wife i tell her names form my family tree !
A day later she has not got a clue who i'm talking about ;D
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HI FOLKS
my dogs have never been on so many walks since i started the family tree,mine you or me come to think about it,as regards the other half she's gone stone deaf in the last six months,but she likes the books i buy on family trees there always one on her bedside cabinet and my B/G macaw has changed names 8 times in the last years at the momment hes called Seymour....till the next family link comes up.. ;D..H
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my dogs have never been on so many walks since i started the family tree.....
Hi Howard: I hope your family trees are spared what dogs normally do to 'em ;D
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LOL!
well thats one way of getting christened i guess, have you tasted the water in some of the church font's ...... ???
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hi everyone a rookie here only joined a few hours ago and already feel like part of a big family of other mentally affected people who dont eat ,sleep and act like a dog with a bone on numerous occasions. sitting here at the computer again with my dinner smiling at all your stories as though l know you all. keep up the entertaining banter it helps keep the computer on when youve just noticed its 3am and not 11.30pm and wonder if you should switch of cos youve hit a brick wall and covered every cross match you can think of. oops there goes a sprout into the printer sorry got to go.
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Hi cheryle.f ;D
Welcome to RootsChat! You sound like you will fit in very well.
Everyone on this site is very friendly and helpful - but we are all just a wee bit mad as well - it's heaps of fun ;D ;D
Darcy ;)
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Reminds me of the sign you sometimes used to to see in shops, many years ago,
"You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it does help"
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Reminds me of the sign you sometimes used to to see in shops, many years ago,
"You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it does help"
My secretary has a sign abover her desk:
Everyone here brings me pleasure: some by coming, some by going
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hi Darcy, thanks for the welcome.No sprouts in the printer tonite i had dinner at the table.noticed your doing research in Northampton area and wondered if you could put an old map to use...another hobby of mine in a former sadder life than this one. The map i have is of Northamptonshire...could be of some use to run alongside your reasearch.Get your address to me somehow(dont forget i'm new at this so i,m not sure how you do that)and send it to you...no charge ...my treat.Just nice to know it,ll get some use at last.
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My husband is not remotely interested in what I do (and it is his family I am researching) until I make a discovery of some sort. He then spends hours on the phone telling his relatives what "we" have found!
Jill
Sounds like my Dave does that.
My other hobby is gardening, Dave has no interest in that either....in fact we don't have that much in common, come to think of it ;) anyway.... my garden won an award this year, it came 3rd in the Calderdale garden competition...( Chuffed!). The awards were presented the other night and because of my bad back i was unable to go so Dave went on my behalf. He came home with a £10 cheque and lots of goodies and told me he'd had his picture taken with the Lord Mayor. Then he presented me with the certificate " Awarded to Mr & Mrs Lister"..........( we aint even married).
I,m off to B&Q on a spending spree!.....oooh second thoughts.....it's 1 and a half Certs!
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My Dad is very interested but the rest of the family will listen but not as keen as Dad (as long as I keep it short).
One relative is very annoyed about it all - she has accused me of having some certificates of her parents and demanded them back, even though I've told her I got them from the GRO she still insists they are hers. Don't think she has grasped that I can get them anyway.
Its a pity she feels like this because at the moment she would be my best source of information.
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What a shame Kimmieto
My aunt has just found out I am into the family history and is searching out photos and stuff for me. She is quite interested in what I have found.
My dad is a bit interested but when I see him weekly on a Friday night he's just off to work so he keeps saying we'll have to get together when he retires in January. Bless him he's getting very excited about retiring!
Kerry
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My wonderful OH is not the least bit interested in FH, although I have investigated his maternal side, as his mother asked me, and did quite well ;D
I don't tell him anything about FH anymore, as he pretends to fall asleep, also try not to do too much on the comp if he is around. Men can be such little boys at times...100% attention please :-\
Friends and colleagues have asked me to do theirs, and are interested in their FH, but most don't feel the need to buy certs...so are not really taking it seriously.
Thank god for Rootschat and Rootschatters, in the 'are we mad' world of rellie chasing, we all know we are quite sane ;)
Cas
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Old folk, don't you just love them :D
I've just come off the phone, my mother in law rang me all excited because she'd been sorting through her drawers and had come across a birth certificate. She said the didn't know where it had come from or who any of the people named on the cert were, she then gave me the details at which point I burst out laughing.
It turned out to be a copy of her grandmothers birth cert that I had given her last christmas. :D
Bee :)
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Most people show a peripheral interest and as long as I don't get too carried away, they are pleasant. I get the eye-glazing when I start talking about my 5x great grandfather or a 3rd cousin's great aunt or some such.
What gets to me is the people who say they are interested and have information to pass on and then never send it. Don't profess interest and give me a tease...I'd rather have nothing.
Kath
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Some of the family are slightly interested, others not at all.
Some were upset when I found that their forebears came from the less attractive parts of of where they live.
Some were not happy when they looked at dates and found that their parents almost had a 'shotgun marriage' [the bride being say six montha gone]
On the other hand, I have made contact with my father in law's long lost uncle's family.
I have reunited a brother and half sister.
One of my uncles, on hearing that I was doing a tree, said, that I might find what he had useful.
Wedding photos, photo's of the various family houses [dating back to 1890, 12 of them] a list of 'who did what, where' in WW2. and lots of other material which might prove useful at some future date.
Still it's good to listen to stories, theories, half baked rumours, speculation from various family members.
My mum always insisted that her lot ' were Irish'. It must have been passed down as a story. After some reserach, I discovered her great grandfather was born in Antrim, N.I.
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My Mums is the only one that is interested, she gets genuinely upset if I discover that a lady had an illigitimate child. She has allways been interested in social history so she understands how dramatic this would have been.
There has been a family feud going on for a few years, so far I'm the only researcher in our family but I often wait for the day when someone from the other side of the family decides to start researching. I think I will then receive some very negative feed back ??? :(
Let's hope they like golf or train spotting ;)
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My 2 daughters are interested in my 'finds', in fact my eldest daughter came with me to Wales recently for some searching.
My son goes Baa,Baa,Baa every time i mention my Welsh side!!!
I think i'll buy him a sheep for Christmas, that'll do his garden a lot of good ;). My husband, well, he is of the 'glazed eyes' variety. If i ever bring up the subject of family history whilst we're out with friends i get something along the lines of " o'h you're not going on about that again are you ?"
But, Rootschatters, we've all got each other here to listen and be interested and that counts for a lot ;D ;D Poli
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I make no secret of the fact that I am interested nay addicted to family history, its my hobbie and I dont care who knows it or what others think.
Oops I am not usually that forthright, just goes to show how passionate I am about it. ;D ;D
Patrish.
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my parents are genuinely interested, although mum tends to look at me blankly sometimes when I talk about g g grandad's sister's daughter etc...
Hubby rolls his eyes, smiles - and listens anyway when I find something which i cant contain and just have to tell somebody...
My eldest daughter always seems amazed at info I find, and she's offered to come gravestone checking this weekend :D
My worse is also when somebody promises to send you something and nothing ever comes... - I too would rather not know... :-\
I have found many family contacts, and they all keep in touch for a while - then I don't hear from them again.. In a couple of cases I have tried to re-connect, but no response.. I think a lot of people get bored?
I get a little insane if I find a contact who I think may have more information in their head than they realize - I want to interrogate them, but stick to being polite and taking whatever they have to offer.. worse if they have a parent or grandparent still alive and I cant get to them :P
recent scenario was a distant cousin who has possession of my grandad's brother's war medal... I've been searching the internet for a trace of where it might be - maybe on sale on ebay? never know I could get lucky..
then out of the blue a contact with long lost cousin who confirms he has medal.. I wanted to get my hands on it so bad!!! LOL - but he kindly sent me a picture of it - so next best thing and I know I am very lucky to even have that.. it could have been lost forever (but heaven knows I want that medal) :o :o
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I'm really lucky, my sig.other and his family are interested in their roots, as are my parents!
SOs parents went to visit family in France and came back with loads of information, but not very far back sadly - French researching online seems to be very difficult.
My parents are also a fountain of knowledge about local places and the like, which helps loads.
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My family all know and like to listen, and my friends will listen, they always seem interested and a few of them have then been curious about their own family and asked if I can find anything out for them.
My husband, dosn't really care, but will go to places with me and does support my hobby. I do remind him that his hobby (race cars) is alot more expensive than mine ;D
Here is a picture of my youngest that I took a few weeks ago while looking for a grave, it was getting close to her nap time, so when I looked back there she was having a rest. I hope Mr. & Mrs. Clark didn't mind.
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Karen
What a lovely photo! She looks like she's about to drop off - literally!!!!!
Kerry
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Unfortunately my family have no interest at all. My sister never even spoke about our parents to her own children. They are now grown up and want to know about their grandparents but I do not think they are interested going back. Lovely to talk about genealogy to rootschat and the BBC. helina
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I guess I am lucky my family (especially my MIL) and friends all ask me how it is going and at first I though they were just doing it to shut me up so I stopped telling them and kept it all to myself and then they started asking (are you still doing you family tree what have you found) so now when I find something new I tell them. Have told a few people about Rootchat and have them all watching on a Wedensday night WGYTYA some have even asked me to do some research for them.
As far as going round grave yards Hubby comes with me and he seems to have more luck than me too.
So I am going to carry on and on coz I am addicted.
Regards Mimosa
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Karen, your photo reminds me of when my boys were small. If it was a nice day I would say get a ball, lets go out for the day.
Oh no Mum, not another graveyard, they would cry ;D
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My SO is interested and comes out graveyard hunting as does my daughter. She is 7 and gets all excited when she finds a grave...
My mum and dad are quite intrested but I think I get so excited I confuse them.....lol
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I love the picture. It reminds me of the cemetery trip we made this summer (two of my brothers, my two kids and I). We were looking for some stones in a cemetery and my daughter (4 years old) excitedly calls my brother over and he goes running. After they examined the stone for a few, I called over, "You know Tim, she can't read." ;D ;D ;D ;D
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KarenM, that has got to be one of the best pictures I have ever seen. ;D ;D ;D
Patrish.
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My family all love to hear about my research, my son even sprouts to his mate's about it.
Now when they come in first thing they say is hi Raels anything new today...
My Dad at 80 just cant believe you can get so much information from a computer,
and now when I visit him he will say..."oh I remembered something to tell you"
sadly mum isn't here to see what she got me to start
Cheers Raels ;D
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The family: absolutely not interested - until there is a 'juicy' piece of info for a bit of scandal. In July this year me and hubby went to County Mayo to look for ancestors and covered 7, yes 7 graveyards in the most our of the way places. I was in my 'element'; I cannot say the same for my very patient husband. We can now laugh about it now though. Happy hunting
Dee Melody
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It was my parents that started me off! And still take an active interest in my research :) Don't know about my brother as he lives in Scotland.
Hubby listens patiently to any new exciting discoveries, then asks me if I heard the latest "Janet & John" story on Wogan this morning!
His parents are also interested to a point, and being N. Irish with many emigrees to Canada & New Zealand, they have managed to keep in touch with all their various cousins. BUT my MiLaw refuses to do any serious research, she says I can do it!
My 2 sons are also interested - to a point - as they have both benefited by travelling to New Zealand, Australia & Canada because of my contact with new cousins who JUST happen to have Rugby connections!
(http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b27/anniemcc/smilies/Cheers.gif) Ann
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when my mum was alive we would visit my dads grave and stop and look at other graves. mum always said she would have to take me to other relatives graves such as her parents but i never got the chance so my oldest brother has now got the job.
my eldest daughter is like me and loves looking at grave stones there is a cemetery near us the old brompton on the fulham road and it is such a lovely place and so old you can still see the old lead coffins in the vaults. my daughter often walks through it to get to my place she uses it as a short cut but it actually takes her longer
my sons however find it boaring and want to hurry through the cemetery's now my nine year old granddaughter has the bug and likes doing what mum and Nan do so that is 4 generations who like looking a grave stones and all female
Bitz
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Hehehe This is an interesting topic of discussion....
My mum tries so hard to be interested and understand what I'm going on about 24/7 but to be quite honest it goes right over her head!
My dad is interested too but he can only take so much of me saying 'well today we'll celebrate grgrgr granny and grandads 148th wedding anniversary!'
My sister is only interested in the unusual names, to see what she can call her kids (she is only 21 and doing a degree and doesn't want kids till shes 30!), but she has a growing list of names!
My friends are at extremes, some are really interested and want me to help with their trees (1 friends mum keeps ringing me asking for help, and my next door neighbour is always questioning me on msn!) and the rest just don't care.
The grandparents (3 left) are all fascinated by my finds, especially my maternal gran who never knew any of her maternal family and never expected me to be able to find anything out about her secretive ancestors, a brick wall I am proud to say has been well a truely demolished in the last couple of months!
My boyf is interested, he has an 'interesting' family, his great great grandfather was a Norwegian seaman who jumped ship and ended up in Liverpool, he changed his name to Mr Smith so he wouldn't be found and then married a French lady of the night! And boyf's mother is Irish..... Need I say more?!!! He just wants me to teach him history....
I think the dog is the only one who actually listens to me going on and on without a bored look in his eyes....awwwwww
As for graveyards......I LOVE 'em, my dad does accompany me to them though just in case I get so engrossed I never come home! I couldn't care less what other people think and drag whoever is with me into any we pass on the off chance I might find something of interest. I always have a pen and pad in my bag, plus the digi cam or my mobile phone cam.
Love
Legs
xxxx
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A most interesting subject. When we were young it is highly
unlikely we would have been interested in family history.
Now, years later, us brave or foolish few that walk down the endless path in search of connections past and present
will encounter a variety of reactions from close to
distant relatives or in-laws and maybe an outlaw or two.
The important point is we must live with the fact that
we will encounter mixed views on the subject. So, we
continue to search and communicate with the understanding
that we will never reach the end of the road with the many twists and turns.
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Reading these comments has really made my day! My family show little to no interest in my hobby and it's so good to hear that others are in the same boat - thank goodness for my three cats one of which always sits on my desk, with her tail sometimes switching over the keys. She would appear to be the only family member to be interested in my hobby.
Meg
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You know what really annoys me? It's when you tell someone you are interested in genealogy and you find out they are as well - and then they completely take overand start telling you about their boring family and don't let you spout about your own family!!! :P
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You know what really annoys me? It's when you tell someone you are interested in genealogy and you find out they are as well - and then they completely take overand start telling you about their boring family and don't let you spout about your own family!!! :P
However, if one listens long enough, a connection may be found,
then it would shed new light onto their family (and yours)!!
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I think that can be said for most of us BevL and lets be honest it is our family's we are interested in not theirs, atlhough I always listen..
As Zelley says you do learn things by listening to others, My friend and I discovered that we share some same surnames and not common ones. which is ironic because it was her who first got me interested. :o
Patrish
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My family (I'm the family 'matriarch) are all in their 30's, they don't show much interest, BUT my grand-daughter aged 13, is interested, so guess who gets the updates now. She's really amazed that Granny can use the internet, web-sites, etc. ! Life in the OAP yet !
BUT, I have a cousin in Canada who is really keen; she spent 5 weeks here recently, and we toured Dorset and Manchester together looking for 'where the ancestors lived' !! I'm fortunate that I live with a friend who is similarly researching her family ... so we sit, lap-tops on knees, tapping away, 'looking stuff up' !!
Beats TV, knitting, snoozing and other OAP occupations ... and its cheap(ish), uses the grey cells, gets you out and about, connects you with others (on RC, of course) and isn't fattening ... but, oh dear, it is an addiction !!
Lydart
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This thread has some resonance for me. At my husbands works xmas 'do' a couple of years ago he introduced me to a guy who he said was also tracing his family tree. However when I got talking to the chap it seemed that he had not done very much at all. I asked him if he was new to it but he said no he had being doing it for a number of years but had got stuck. I asked what family name he was chasing basically to say if I came across anything I would let him know. Big mistake! Huge! He droned on for two hours about how difficult it was because his family had a very unusual name. I commented that that should make it easier but he denied that. Again I asked the name and he said wait for it - Wilson! I kept looking at hubby begging him with my eyes to rescue me. Eventually when the chap went to the loo I moved to sit elsewhere and hubby came over. I asked him why he had lumbered me with this guy. His reply was well 'he was boring the backside off me I can't do with him'. I smiled sweetly and said 'he is behind you and has heard every word you have said'. Vengence is sweet ;D ;D ;D ;D
Pennine
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Where ever did he get the idea that Wilson is an unusual name. ::) ::) ::)